My Book of Avenged - well, this is not what you expected at all.

I used to hate my life,

I hate how poor I’m, and blame it to my parents

I hate the way I talk and socialized,

I hate the way I look and dressed up,

I hate the way I view myself and compared it to others,

I hate how I can’t make any relationship lasts with everyone,

I hate that I grew up with a tough road, and how smooth the path for everyone else,

I hate that I don’t have any meaning talent to do,

I hate the slow, painful ways of me to processed things and learn new stuff,

I hate how I pity myself, cried myself to sleep, and blame the sadness to others,

I hate how desperate I become to rely too much on someone, and how little love I give myself every minute of it,

I hate how difficult I can be someday, and how annoying I could become the next day,

I hate how broken my family are, and how perfect others family is,

I hate that I can’t be happy forever , and how unhappy I feel on the first thing I wake up,

I even hate the Creator above somehow, to let me live in this hell we called earth.

AND SO, I CREATED THIS BOOKS OF AVENGED- a noteful reminder for myself or everyone out there of some truths about life that I learned too late by now.

1. I hate how poor I’m, and I blame it on my parents due to they were taught me that money doesn’t matter. The thing is MONEY IS MATTER. And so, I avenged myself to chase my own fortune like everyone did because at the end of the day, money can’t buy me happiness but money can make me buy things that makes me happy. And I did it.

2. I hate the way I talk, I hate the way I dressed, and I hate the way I view myself due to the disrespect teaching my society led me to believe that being me is enough. Sadly, YOUR APPEARANCE MAKES A DIFFERENCE. Then, I avenged myself. I tried to improve my communication skills, I learn to dress myself appropriately, and I view myself as my own unique self while believing that I’m still a human and have my own imperfections on so many ways. I becoming to accept myself.

3. I hate how I can’t make any relationship lasts with anyone coming with the way of thinking that I’m not enough for them. While the truth is SOMEWHERE BETWEEN HELLO AND GOODBYE, WE HAVE LEARNED TO LIVE OUR LIVES. I avenged myself to swallow the bitter truth that some of the people will stay for a long times, while some of them are staying just to passing the time. On the between moments of it that I accept that I can be perfectly on my own and be grateful with every moments that happened from every person that knock on my life.

4. I hate that I grew up with a tough road, and how painstaking it can be on every minute of it. But then, IF YOU WANT TO SHINE LIKE A DIAMOND, YOU’VE GOT TO GET CUT LIKE A DIAMOND. I avenged myself day in and day out by hustling and learning and enjoying the process of it. I haven’t reaping my reward by now, but we’ll see. Maybe on the next 10 years you will find my name on the 100 Forbes magazine. I need to ENJOY THE JOURNEY BECAUSE THE JOURNEY IS ALL THERE IS.

5. I hate useless I can be, how talentless I’m and the slow moments for me to processed things and learning new stuff. I have to understand that TALENT MEANS NOTHING WITHOUT CONSISTENT EFFORT AND PRACTICE, I avenged myself to give myself an extra minute to learning and mastering my own skills, learning and processing new stuff as best as I could because I believe MOST PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF FAR GREATER THINGS THAN THEY REALISE IF THEY HAVE THE COURAGE AND BE PATIENT TO ACHIEVE IT.

6. I hate how I basically turn to be the gloomy queen I become, desperately relying on someone, and how difficult I could become somehow. I still do it sometimes, but maybe on EVERY HARD TIMES THERE ARE MOSTLY A BLESSING IN DISGUISE. I avenged myself by finding the light on every dark and still trying my best even on my darkest times, even when it is tough. It is surely hard as well, to find the meaning of every excruciating moments you are encountered by now. And don’t you think that WORRYING IS A WASTE OF ENERGY ? Who knows, maybe you will get the hidden meaning of those bad moments and finally get the answered of your why’s someday.

7. I hate how I can’t be happy forever, when THE WORD “FOREVER” IS OVERRATED – no one is happy or unhappy forever. I avenged myself to CHOOSE MY OWN HAPPINESS. Because, this too shall pass - , isn’t ? Also, YOUR OBSESSION WITH FINDING HAPPINESS IS WHAT PREVENTS IT’S ATTAINMENT THUS, LET IT BE.

8. Lastly, I hate the Creator above to let me live my life the way it is. But you and I have to understand that THERE’S NO ONE ELSE LIKE YOU. It is true that THERE WILL ALWAYS BE SOMEONE WHO IS BETTER THAN YOU, AND YOU CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE AROUND YOU but you and I need to avenged the life itself to understand the better part of our times before death do takes us apart. Today’s a celebration. Live everyday like it’s the last. Everyday you live is a blessing. Be Alright !

# i understand that it should be an revenge fantasy, and some of you will hate me for writing this up. But you know, the best revenge is bettering yourself and show all of those people wrong :)