Dental Hijinks

Toothpaste is kinda stupid.

I’m not saying stop brushing your teeth, I’m merely suggesting to watch out before putting something into your mouth.

Most people focus on the active ingredient on the label, which is fluoride. To avoid the conspiracy debates this post doesn’t care about the active ingredient, so we’re leaving this right here and moving on to the inactive ingredients:

Glycerin - this is a pretty common ingredient that acts as a preservative for many foods while giving toothpaste its “paste” texture

Propylene Glycol - the same glycol in your antifreeze, this keeps the toothpaste from drying out in the tube not your mouth

Saccharin - fake sugar; supposedly doesn’t cause cavities though which is good because

Hydrated Silica - yup, those annoying DO NOT EAT pellets in microscopic size provide an abrasive to scrub the teeth (this used to be chalk) leaving tiny unseen gouges where bacteria can easily hide so they add

Formaldehyde-Releasing Preservatives - not formaldehyde itself, just chemicals that release the same thing under different names, but in quantities that aren’t even required to be listed on the label

Dyes - what else did you assume “whitening” was?

Studies have shown you can brush your teeth with water just fine; brushing should focus on dusting off plaque, not whitening, bleaching, or freshening up your teeth.

This concludes the vindicated five-year-old me’s tirade on why toothpaste is stupid.