Finally Clean

Until now, I’d lost all hope. 

How could I move on from you?

I had you for a moment; 

I couldn’t imagine wanting anyone else. 

Endless dates with new people who couldn’t measure up

Told me to stop trying. 

 I was stuck on you, embracing despair. 

He came around, and was sweet and charming. 

I went along, just needing to give love that you wouldn’t take. 

He wooed and kissed and held,

And I fought my heart as it tried to replace you with him.

Still, I didn’t want to want anyone else. 

Still, I wanted you as the object of my affection. 

And then he left; a new despair. 

I mourned him and missed him… and didn’t mourn you. 

I let you go, not in his coming, but in his leaving. 

Who knew that loss would save me? 

In losing him, I reclaimed myself from you. 

And hope, once lost, is reality.