She

Until now I'd lost all hope.

Giving up on the idea of a deep-rooted connection.

To find a heart to be the object of my affection.

I accepted that I'd remain alone to cope.

So I constructed my wall to never fall.

I would ride out the storm in seclusion.

But this feat was by no means small.

There is no denying my soul called out.

To find someone to make me feel again.

I buried these demands behind my own self doubt.

To open up and be vulnerable again?

To allow my heart to free fall,

Into the hands of someone worthy to catch it?

To never know when?

No.

I'd lost all hope.

*****

So I sat and stared.

Stared into nothing.

Sitting in a house I didn't own.

Fading in and out of consciousness.

The alcohol numbing my pain.

I speak to my demons in their native tongue.

They convince me to cross the line.

Maybe I've done enough good in life,

To look into the eyes of our maker.

To kneel before His golden throne.

So I took my first step onto the ledge.

Staring down into the abyss,

I knew there was no one left to save me.

*****

There were no signs.

There was no cue.

There she stood.

She had slammed into my life.

Like a meteor,

Escorted by trails of smoke and flames.

Plummeting from the heavens,

She burnt through my soul,

In brilliant flames of white, blue, and gold.

She destroyed the walls I built up.

And I willingly relinquished any and all control.

And I fell hard.

In my world of dark she stood out.

Encased in the light of her beauty.

Radiant. Pure. Calming.

Resurrecting a familiarity within.

But we had no past.

Yet our hearts spoke to one another like old friends.

As if there was a bond they've always known.

*****

She had caught me.

And I landed in the arms of the one who awoke me.

The one who allowed my wounds to close and scar.

The love I have for her runs deep within my veins.

So yes,

Until now I'd lost all hope.

But because of her,

The little hope I have still remains.