My oldest creation was a girl, named Arisa. I gave her everything I wanted for myself. I made her a Mary Sue, making her into a perfect version of myself because the first version of me wasn’t enough. She had everything. The sass, the intelligence, the physical ability, the confidence... just everything. She was perfect.

Then a year or so later, I read my book and found nothing but distaste for her. She was bland, vain, rude and small minded. I found that I had made the entire book around her being so amazing when in reality she wasn’t. I tired to find myself her again, but I couldn’t see anything...

Then Daiji(Daija) appeared.He wasn’t perfect. He was a little taller than average. Kind of silly. A little insecure and lazy. He hid behind fake smiles and bright laughs. He tried to fit in and make other people happy, even at his distress. He didn’t have everything. I didn’t know it when I wrote him, but I wrote him as the orignal me.

I found myself loving Daiji more than Arisa. I asked myself, “Why would that be?” That I made a side character, which was centered around being comedic relief, better then the protagonist? How did I make these personalities so different from what I intended them to be? Arisa was supposed to be full of potential and a great queen but all I saw was a shallow shell of a monster. Daiji was supposed to be a lazy but loyal man, yet all I saw was unlocked potential and means to be the greatest king of all.

I made Arisa be something I wasn’t because I thought she was superior. All I achieved in the end was a defeated version of myself that I would eventually become if I didn’t stop wanting to be someone else. I realised that I was being too harsh on myself and as a result too harsh on Daiji. I bullied Daiji like I bulled myself into thinking that my faults were my weakness and my problems when in reality they gave me the means to be great.

And just like that, I flipped the tables. I stopped writing about her and started writing about him.