There Is No Book

acescribbler,

Life for just about every human being would have been much easier if we were born with a book about what to expect out of life with rules to guide us. However, that never happens to any of us.

We get faced with so many events in life that it is difficult to determine what is and what isn’t in our best interest. We get pulled from so many different directions. Parents say one thing, teachers another, and then there are the friends we make we grow up with. They all have conflicting ideas of what you should say or do, and this leaves your head spinning, not knowing if you really made the right choices for you, not for them, and oft times, that’s where we mess up in our youth.

Trying to please others, and forgetting about our self. Our own individuality.

Growing up, every child says they want to be this or that (fireman, policeman, doctor, nurse, etc), and with each passing year, it changes. Why? Because other influences cause you to doubt your own abilities.

It is one thing to listen to advice, it is an altogether different mode if you take that advice just because they are a parent, teacher, or friend, without thinking it through first.

I guess what I am saying is that when you were born, you were im printed in life to be your own person. No one has the same fingerprints as you, the same identical brain, the same beating heart. Hence, you are a unique human being.

What I am about to tell you, I haven’t relayed here on Prose, and less than four people know what happened, I think, in the year 1971.

I was 24 then. Young, fairly good-looking, didn’t have a worry in the world, or so I thought. But I was also one of those people that felt he had to “hang” with certain people. Mind you, not bad people, but more the in-crowd so I could feel like I belonged.

It was a Friday night, drinking, laughing, carrying on, and had been dating an attractive woman at the time. Can’t tell you when, but sometime during that get together, my mind went somewhere else. It was as if a realness settled over me.

I looked around the room and saw people, a place, where I realized I didn’t belong. And if I didn’t belong there, where did I belong? I had no answer.

The party was at my girlfriend’s house. I knew her place well. So well in fact, I went to her bedroom, opened a dresser drawer and pulled out a snub-nose .32 and sat on her bed. I cocked the hammer back and raised it to my head. I had every intention to end my life right then and there.

The girl I had been seeing stepped in just as I raised the gun and screamed. I saw the look of both panic and fear etched over her face. And here’s the thing. Seeing her like that, made me realize, death wasn’t the answer. The answer for me was on her face.

Inwardly, I had been afraid of going my own way. I talked a good talk but never followed through because I believed I would fail. And I also knew that if I was put in a drastic situation, I wouldn’t know how to react and that is panic.

But seeing the look on her face made me understand I could. I could be the person I wanted to be, not what she wanted, not what my friends wanted or my parents for that matter. Life changed for me in that split-second.

And that is the bottom line. It only takes a second to decide when and where you want to go in life, and I mean really go. To become. To be.

As to telling your parents ... just tell them. If they are good people who love you and support you, just talk to them on a level they can understand. Remember, even your parents went through some hell growing up. All parents do. It’s part of life’s process.

The good cannot succeed without the bad and the sad can’t survive without the glad, and love cannot live without the hate. There will always be a wall put before us. Once it is torn down, you can move on to another part of your life that will work for just you and you alone.

I can’t say your life will be fine as you get older, or that all your dreams will come true. But I can say that life is worth living just so you can create your own adventure throughout life, knowing you are your own person. Good, bad, or indifferent.

Do the best you can. It’s all any of us can do. Just never forget who YOU are and who YOU want to be.

Lastly, if you believe in God, and His power, what better friend could you ask for.

(The above quote in the picture is from Psalm 62:7.)