Please

I don't want to get my heart broken. I put up so many walls to keep strong and safe and keep people out that it's a wonder to me that it's even a possibility. But here I am... waiting to hear from a man I love and see a future with, not knowing what the next three days will hold until I see him again... worried that something during his trip to his former home will change what we have and I will lose him. Sounds like I'm being dramatic, I know, but it's a big deal for me. I guess with the people who have hurt me before, I've learned to anticipate rejection? So I look for it now. I try to find it whether it's there or not so I don't get caught off guard. I don't know. I just want this aching to stop. Please.