Advice from the dead inside
Hello. I am not going to pretend to be an expert on this but I will do everything I can to help. 2 years ago I was in the same position...
Call the suicide hotline. I keep the number saved in my phone. If you are too anxious to call, text 741741 and you'll get help. If you don't have a phone, borrow one if you can or try to go on the suicide hotline website.
Confide in a friend/significant other/parent, someone you can trust. If your parents are supportive go to them, if not try another adult. If you can't find an adult, someone older than you or around the same age.
Do not self harm. You WILL hate yourself for it. I stopped self harming 2 years ago and I still hate myself for it. Don't do it, it's not worth it.
Find a healthy coping mechanism such as writing, drawing, painting, reading, working out, singing, baking, etc. Something productive that maked you feel good.
If you ever consider self harming, hold ice in your hand till it melts, doodle on your arms/legs with a marker. It relieves the urge to destroy yourself.
For 30 days straight, listen to nothing but classical music, nothing with lyrics. See how your mind changes. The music we listen to greatly impacts our minds. Need a place to start? Check out the lost book of fantasy by Peter Gundry and Fur Elise by Beethoven.
You are never a burden when you ask for help, never! And if anyone says you are, they are wrong.
If you don't have someone to talk to about anything, message me. I'll talk to you. I'd rather talk someone out of suicide than let them kill themselves.
Just hold on. Stay strong. I know it may be hard and you want to let go, but... hold on. There's always a reason to live, and every reason to live is a good reason. And I don't care what anyone says, you matter. You're important. You're worth more than you know. And I will make a playlist of songs for you and anyone who needs them so that when you are in these times, you can listen to them and feel better.