Someone loves you than you could ever love yourself❤

@acescribblers

I am fourteen,I may be too young to truly understand you but I can come from my angle.

I am an introvert,I never ever open up not even to my parents.I rarely have a conversation with anybody not because I was proud but because I believed that I really didn't matter.You could strangle me and I won't say anything because I believed my life wasn't worth anything. I used to envy others and say 'Why am I so different?'

Anytime I have a good day I would cry throughout the night because I didn't want to go back to being terrible and hopeless.I continued that way,every night I cried myself to sleep because I felt so useless and lonely. When I got to grade 7,I started talking to people not because I changed my orientation but because 1 didn't want to look so different.I never really said what was going through my mind I only said what they wanted me to say.I never let anyone too close for comfort. I thought about suicide but I couldn't afford to suffer in hell for taking human life even if it was mine. Anytime I hold a knife I feel afraid of myself cause I knew what I really wanted.When I got to grade 11,I started walking with a girl. I had lost who I really was but I started to like her like really like her. If she is sick I would feel like my heart was tearing,I couldnt bear to see her in tears. I started feeling human with true emotions.I had started to value my life because I had someone who loved me. Everyone in the school knew us together but one day it started heading south. She started to think she was better than me. One time she called me a thief. I became more foolish than I was before. I closed up but I still deeply cared for her. The moment she abused my family I knew she had crossed the line.I never deeply cared for my family but I couldn't stand someone thinking less of them. I had become too used to silence that my silence was eating me up. I wanted to say so much to her but I couldn't because I felt I wasn't worth it. My silence started to get the best of me and I fell into depression.I felt the urge stronger than ever to take my life.

One day I read Genesis 1. I loved nature so I was just curious to how it came to exist,then I came across Genesis 1:26. The creator of the mesmerizing sky,trees,waters, animals saw me worthy than all he had created to be created in his image. I felt so loved and I said to myself 'If he who made me loves me why should I the creation hate myself. Why should I care about the opinion of others who are less than my Maker'

I then never thought of killing myself because I didn't want to disappoint God who loves me so much but I still felt inferior. Then one day I thought of a life of only people like me in the world.It was so pathetic and pitiful. Then I said to myself ' God didn't create me alone in this world so I could see my worth becausebecause my difference is what makes me unique and special.

Your life is worth more than you could ever know. You don't need to feel insecure or worthless because your potter made you the perfect way.

Have you ever thought why we didn't come with a manual?

Because life with a manual is boring.

Just keep in mind that your life matters to someone up above and he loves you more than you could ever imagine.

I am not an open person so I can't say to tell people in your life or not.

But I really hope I helped you even just a teeny tiny little bit.