moonlight

its 3am and i still think about you all the time

outside my window the moonlight falls softly

addicted to the way you smiled like

a mystical snowflake before it melts

how you broke apart like i’ve been

every night for the past three years

your name tasted like glass

etched onto the stone wall

all i could see was you and the times leading up to that night

under the neon lights and ferris wheel the high i’ll forever chase

i remember the world flashing from blue to green

glow sticks and lit up signs and your leather jacket

i got lost in your smile the way others were lost

in tasteless drinks and washed up music just so

we couldn’t hear our dying heartbeats slowing down

but when i looked at you the world didn’t make a sound

i remember how the afterparty ended

with you sitting across from me

im sorry for the way i looked at you

and everyone leaving without us

i saw you walking towards the ferris wheel

with moonlight on your smile and i thought

about how i wished tonight would last forever

how much it would hurt when you leave

and i thought about your haunting voice

like faraway sunsets and clear blue waves

it really did feel like all these years were leading up

to that one night enchanting in a shattered world

you held my heart for the little pieces of memories

i held my breath for all the things we never said

there were tears in your eyes

as you kneeled down

and wrote a boy’s name in

the gravel with your finger

i leaned against a stone wall

watching you break yourself

and my hands found their way

carving a name onto the wall

fingers covered in cold blood

forgotten how it felt to be alive

blurred between heavenly lines

it never felt so good to fall apart

i engraved a name on the stone wall

your name that has never left my mind

i wonder if you ever saw the crooked letters

when you asked me about the cuts on my hand

i couldn’t give an answer because there’s not

a moment the word wasn’t my whole entire life

if i could go back in time and undo

that night i don’t think i ever would

your name tasted like shadows

remains untouched on the stone wall

ever since that night i haven’t been able to breath

its 4am and i’m sorry i wasn’t enough

- deathetix