A brief conversation with Jan.

A part of me is frightened to sit down with It but the viewership has voted for this and the network needs the ratings. After the onslaught that 2020 has been, we need hope and a change of perspective. The face before me is uncertain; from the side it looks approachable with soft smiles and the hypnotising side eyes it keeps throwing my way, from the front it is menacing - the hard lines of its facial frame cutting apart all the things I want to say and from the back...it is beautiful like most things appear in hindsight. Overall, it bears the kind of face no one can properly read.

“We are live in 3, 2...” the 1 and 0 are signaled by her fingers.

“Welcome to The Future Show. Your number one speculative show, current on all things Future and I am your host, Calen Dar. Today we bring you the long awaited January with..

“January 2021,” It interrupts. When I give it a puzzled look, It clarifies, “to be distinguished from all other Januarys. January 2020 inclusive.”

“Of course.” I am not excited to have this conversation. The year 2020 has destroyed my desire to make plans and have meaningful conversations with my viewers when January comes around but I press on, “And it is here to answer some of your most asked questions...”

“You know January 2020 was a show off.” January 2021 cuts me off. Again. I can tell that It comes with plenty of interruptions too. “Came to the stage to a chorus of expectations, being the start of a new decade and all that if you remember. Used to boast of the so many plans it held, how it would be remembered for years to come.” It crosses its legs and leans back, “Achieved it more dramatically than any of us expected if you ask me.” I want to spray all my stray thoughts at January but it won’t do on live TV and holding on to a job these days is akin to the stuff of myths and fairytales. Instead I paste a smile on my face. The last thing I want to do is let January think it can rattle me and waylay me from my plans.

“January 2021! What a mouthful. Can I call you Jan 21 instead?”

“Just Jan can do actually.” What a shift from wishing to be distinguished! But I hold in my misgivings about my guest.

“Right. Just Jan.” I draw out the name and It turns my way with another of its faces that I can’t read. “People are desperate to know what you hold in store for them.”

“Oooh. And I have plenty in store,” I lean closer because I am naturally curious, “Especially on the fashion platform. I’m thinking of bringing back some of the 80s fashion and...”

“That’s not really what people want to know.” I take a deep breath. Surely, Jan knows what we all desperately want answers to but It wants me to drag it all out. “We are more interested in more important subjects, no offence to the fashion industry. But we are curious about things that pertain to climate and the global village. Are there any pandemics we should be cautious of? Any global unrests that we can change in time? That sort of thing.”

“Well how should I know!” Jan purses its lips and flips its hair. I want to jump out my blue armchair and strangle It. “I am one of those spontaneous stars. You never know what you are getting till I am on the stage. But there are definitely other things I don’t mind speculating over.”

“If they are not the things I pointed out, I don’t think anyone will be interested in hearing them.” I wait for Jan to object to the comment and dive into what we want to know. But Jan just sits quietly, fiddling with its fingers. I suspect that It gets a kick out of seeing us kill ourselves with speculations and predictions It won’t confirm or deny. I had never thought of this before, but I am coming to the conclusion that Jan might be the harshest of the Elite Twelve.

“Thank you though for taking the time to come out and sit with me.” I signal that I am done with this conversation that is going nowhere. Jan gets up with all its arrogance; It doesn’t give me a second look and It definitely doesn’t beg to get a little more time in the spotlight. I know this brief show will be a great disappointment to my viewers and think of how best I can remedy that. A genius thought strikes my mind as I look at Jan’s departing figure, “Maybe I will talk to February 2021 and get some thoughts on the new year. I'm sure Feb will be willing to talk since It gets less time on the stage anyway."

The comment throws Jan into a frenzy. It tries to make it back on the stage with fire spitting out of its eyes and mouth but is held back by security. Jan shouts “Don’t you dare talk to Feb. Don’t you dare or you'll regret it! No one talks till I have had my say. They all get their cue from me and have no idea what I have in store. DO. NOT. TALK. TO. FEB."

I only take deep breaths when they shut the door behind Jan. The little drama has been caught on camera and I'm sure that when my heart is not beating out of my chest I will see the humour in all of it.

"Well folks, you saw and heard it here first. On the Future Show. Jan tries to kill the Calen Dar and doesn't want anyone talking to February 2021." I wait for the studio to transition into a commercial break and run off the stage. I find my assistant and give the order.

"Have someone check up on Feb 2021 and put It in protective custody. Jan didn't leave here in the best state."