hesitate

i've always

wanted to

tell you.

but i couldn't.

because i

thought up all

of the possible

outcomes and

they were all

horrible.

i practiced

saying it to

stuffed animals

i'm too old

for

but something

in their

beady black eyes

like beetles

reminded me of

you and

my words

slowed

stuttered

and stopped.

if i told you

everything would

change.

so i don't

tell.

my words

get stuck in

my mind

they bounce

around and

i can't help but

regret.