How Should I Scream, God?
How should I scream?
On the planes of my dreams
Where I don't have to bit my tounge?
Should I scream like when I was young--
How I would whine when I'd fall off my bike
Outstrecthed on hot pavement that felt like spikes
Under my back; now that was a tremedous scream
Loud--yes, loud I must yell from the depths of my being
Delivering constant vulgar insults towards me
I can still hear their cheerful mourning of my sanitity
So weak and frail is my mental condition
Carrying such a sensitive frame derails my function
Reeping the swelled chambers of my heart
Eating the insecurities that have begun to break apart
And after all has been swept into a bag and thown away
Maybe I'll drive towards the coast and cry near a bay,
God, If you are out there, I hope you are listening:
Oh, the pain is too much and I can feel my soul fading
Do tell me, should I scream to myself or with everyone witnessing?