Zooming to Class
Rushing to class, thinking I’m late, I’m late, I’m late! Hashbrown fingers flying as you stuff your remaining breakfast in your mouth, you go to the next tab and-- wait, no, you don’t need to see your horoscope! Finally finding the link, fingers aching and leaning back in your chair from the pure exhaustion of thinking so fast, you slump in you chair and sigh.
“Stupid Crapper, makes his class so early...”
Swiping the hair from your eyes in the mirror and checking for ketchup on your mouth because Sam’s in your class, you put on a smile and turn to find--
CONNECTING?!
“Chromebook, I REALLY need you to work right now! If not, I’m going to literally throw you on the floor!” You threaten, gesturing to the wooden floorboards littered with scattered worksheets.
The circle keeps spinning round and round and round and you hit the side impatiently and--
NO WIFI?!
“I have WiFi! You are total BS!” you grumble, grudgingly turning on your precious hotspot.
Twenty minutes late, and still... surprise, surprise, still loading. You hit the side again in frustration and the screen goes black. Oh my penguins.
“No, no, no, no, no! Look here, I’m sorry. Just please work. I’ll plug you in. I need to get that flibbertigibbet Crapper’s class. C’mon, c’mon, c’monnnnn.”
The screen goes white and the pure relief radiating from the very fact it just turned on.
“I’ll feed you instant ramen, I’ll bring you to the Maldives, I’ll marry you, JUST PLEASE KEEP COOPERATING,” you beg as you open your gmail, clicking on the link frantically.
“You can do it, you can do it...”
The screen pops up asking if you want your face to show or not. You click yes and enter the classroom, kissing your chromebook screen in pure joy.
“Alex, glad you could finally join us... what are you doing?”
“Sorry Mr. Crapper--” your cheeks warm, and he sends you the iciest glare as the other students barely muffle their laughter.
“I mean, Mr. Capper, my chromebook was giving me issues.”
“Yeah, right. I told you that today was your last chance. Not only are you late, you’ve disrupted the end of this lesson. Respectful students,” he says mockingly, ” you are dismissed. Alex, expect an email to your parents. Unless you’re Spider Man, don’t bother coming next week.”
The Zoom ends, and you wonder how that could’ve gone any worse. Slamming your stupid chromebook shut, you turn around and flop face-first onto your bed. And then, naturally, just when it really can’t get any worse, your mom peeks through the door.
“Alex, how was class? I heard you talking to someone even after I cut the WiFi cord because I read an article about poisonous spider that crawl through WiFi wires. So scary! Anyway, I’ll make you some brownies?
You would scream that a bug in your computer is not an actual bug, but today you are much too tired and who needs WiFi anyway? Well, you do. But not right now. And staring at her expecting eyes, you just can’t tell her what happened. Then she wouldn’t make the brownies, and you really needed them at this point.
“Yeah, lucky me! Thank you for saving us from some bug!” you whoop half-heartedly. “I could definitely use some brownies.”
“Great, I’ll go to the store to buy some. I saw some cheap expired ones yesterday!””
After you make sure the door has clicked behind her, you roll over to stare at the ceiling.
“Well, that was... well cr- AHHH MOM THERES A SPIDER IN MY ROOM”
“Don’t worry hon, I’m coming with my hazmat suit!”
Peering at your ceiling, she waves it off as not poisonous. You relax, until it falls and bites you and you become Spider-Man 2.0. Ha, Mr. Crapper.