A Lunch in Quarentine
Family (me, brother 1, brother 2, sister, Mother, Father): eating sushi for lunch from small plastic containers.
Father (leaves the room for a few moments).
Brother 2 (looks at sushi container, which has one piece left): “How many were there to start with?”
Mother: “I had two.”
Me: “I had three.”
Brother 1: “I had two.”
Sister: “I had two.”
Mother (to me): “Wait, how many did you have?”
Me: “I had three.”
Mother: “You had three?”
Me: “Yes, that’s what I said.”
Brother 2: “Wait, but that doesn’t add up, because two plus two plus two plus three equals nine, and there were more than nine.”
Mother: “Yes, but didn’t you have two? No, three.”
Me: “No, I had three, not Brother 2.”
Brother 1: “There were ten pieces total.”
Me: “No, there were twelve.”
Mother: “Twelve?”
Me: “Yes: two rows of six.”
Mother: “Oh! Ok, that makes sense.”
Brother 2: “No, that doesn’t add up.”
Sister: “Why do we even care?”
Me: “Yes, why do we even care?”
Mother: “Ok, two plus two plus two plus three…Wait, did Dad have any?”
Me: “I don’t know.”
Brother 2: “Try counting again.”
Me: “Wait, what are we trying to do again?”
Brother 1: “Figure out how many pieces of sushi we started with.”
Me: “You didn’t just count them before you opened the container?”
Brother 1: “Who counts things before they open them? Did you?”
Me: “No, I never saw it.”
Mother: “Ok: one, plus two, plus two-“
Brother 1: “Where did the one come from?”
Me: “Wait a minute!” (Jumps from my seat and points at the refrigerator). “There’s an unopened pack in the fridge!”
Brother 1: (runs to refrigerator and takes out sushi but drops the container, spilling the rolls all over the floor). “Oh no.”
Me: “Count them, hurry!”
Mother: (rushes over to throw the soiled food away). “How many were there?”
Me: “Count them! Quickly! Before you throw them out!”
Brother 1: “There’s ten!”
Me: “Are you sure?”
Brother 1 and Mother: “Yes, there’s ten.”
Me: “Count them!”
Brother 1: “We did!”
Sister: “But we only ate nine.”
Brother 2: “There was one left, remember: here it is.”
Father: (walks back into the room and sees the sushi he had bought less than fifteen minutes ago all over the floor). “What the?-“
Me: “There’s ten!”
Father: “What?”
Family: (pauses and look at each other before laughing).