I Shot the Sheriff
Long story short, I did shoot the sheriff. I waited outside the station until everyone else had left (Or so I thought), went in, and blasted a shot square in his chest.
Poor sheriff, didn´t even have time for a quick “What the—“.
You know that sweet sound of a pump-action shotgun, click-clack, followed by the hollow thud of the empty shell hitting the floor. I cherished the moment. The smell of gun powder was intoxicating, the smell of blood not so much.
The sheriff twitched for a while, and I merely observed. It was only then when I realized I wasn´t alone. Deputy Paulson was standing by the filing cabinet, his hand still inside it. Frozen, scared shitless (or so I thought). How unfortunate for Paulson, since I had no beef with him. I sighed and pointed the barrel at him. I remember thinking should I say something like, “Sorry dude, nothing personal”, but didn´t. Instead I waited for him to say something. I was expecting “Please”, “Wait”, “Don´t”, or even “I have a family”.
Go on dipshit, work me up, say something annoying to make this easier. But he didn´t. What came out of his mouth took me completely by surprise:
“I´ll give you a head start”
What? Now this I did not see coming. He wasn´t blinking.
“Five minutes. After that I´m coming at you with everything I´ve got. I´m talking bloodhounds and helicopters. You´ll hang for this.”
Check out the balls on Paulson. Who knew? I was in awe, I always figured him for a sissy.
“I´d take the opportunity if I were you. The clock is ticking, when it hits nine, you´ll be the most wanted man in the state. “
Well played Paulson, I could only smile. Talk about a game changer. I gave him one courteous nod, and simply left. He was pushing it, but I heard him say one more thing: “Make it a good one, you hear!”
Now I laughed out loud. So I didn´t shoot the deputy. Was that the biggest mistake of my life? Yeah, but the thing is, I´d do it again in a heartbeat.
It´s hard to explain, but I guess you could call it respect. Also, it takes one to know one. I´d bet a whole lot, he too would score well on the Levinson scale.
Within an hour, I was back at the station, only this time cuffed and severely beaten up. Still I couldn´t help it, but laugh. They hadn´t even bagged the old man yet, and I was already behind bars. Paulson was true to his word. He gave me the head start as promised, and every road out of town was blocked. Poor planning on my behalf, granted. I didn´t even bother to try and shoot my way out. Paulson was disappointed. He is now the sheriff by the way, and I hear he rules with an iron glove. I´d expect nothing less from him. There´s a lethal injection coming my way soon. See if I give a shit, I´m funny that way.