Over

To whom I sincerely wish could have been be "the one,"

I’m so over you. I've practice this lie in the bathroom mirror, changing the delivery slightly each time. A constructed truth. I choose to focus on the realities of the statement to ease my conscience. I’m so over this tired, one sided life. But not you. I could never get over someone who never hurt me. Never wronged me. I’m so over the rhythm of my life. The way things could line up perfectly if the timing was a little different. I’m so over listening to your playlists late into the night to try to feel closer to you and the things I will never understand. I’m so over waiting for someone there are no guarantees will come back for me, and the worst part is that I couldn’t even blame you if you didn’t. Because I’m not your problem, and you have no idea how much I wish I were. I’m so over these past few months of uncertainty and constant ups and downs. I’m so over constantly ending up with “he loves me not” far more often than “he loves me”… but you? I don’t even want to get over you. So I don't think I ever will. And I will always be sorry I never told you all the thoughts in my head. I think I could have helped you. But it feels like it's too late now. I'm so over not gaining the confidence to speak up until it's too late. I'm sorry.

The girl you never got to know