What to remember?

Like all things, the middle way is the best. remembering only the horrors and atrocities, would leave out a great deal of good. on the other hand, focusing only on the good, would whitewash the harsh reality, and may someday lead people into thinking this was some wonderful adventure.

like separating the wheat from the chaff, if you completely do away with the fiber, you get a very white, tasteless bread.

so what do i need to remember?

i remember my baby, having first experiences: seeing snow, eating a strawberry , and learning to stand.

i remember kindness that others have shown to me and to others. kindness without which, it would have been very difficult to survive.

I remember talking to the few foreigners that chose to stay in wuhan, and not get evacuated. how we cheered each other up.

I remember getting good news, i remember how ridculous i looked, walking to the Walmart, the FIRST day of the quarantine, dressed in a jacket(hoody on top) , swimming goggles, gloves, mask, nylon bags for my shoes, dragging all that through the street, with a stupid shopping cart along.

I remember a friend from Beijing getting on an online dating.service. only all the photos were with girls wearing the dust masks on. (‘she’s not wearing an N95. you can do better..’)

I remember doing online lessons for students. at some point.we started to joke about the connection flaking out, that we need to get some more internet oil or WiFi powder.

I also remember a lot of nastiness said and done. so much shameful, disgraceful behavior. but here is the thing: if a tragedy of historical proportions happened, we are left with a dilema, what to focus on? we must ask what would be the purpose of remembering? should it be just a series of survival lessons? or should the memory reflect more our understanding of human nature. I’ve been reading a few of my posts in the past few days,working on a project.. i noticed that i tended to oscilate between posts that were continuous rants, dark and depressing, to posts about keeping a general positive outlook. I havent done this self-digest kind of thing before. but i see that all through this period, i did not rant. i tried to show, to externalize, the positive outlook necessary. it’s like i have an alter-ego, which prevents me to slip back to just complaining. and dont get me wrong: I suffer and conplain all the time!

what i understand from this, and what i hope to show is that the history i choose to look at, is a collection of good despite the bad. i anticipate the bad. i try to prepare.l for it. i learned the sad historical context . but the real way out, over time, the way to overcome and find some hope, is to look at past memories, personal or collective , of rising above the depressing , worsening reality.

so these are the memories i will keep vividly. Some day, my baby will ask me how it was, this period. and i will tell her that. i will pass on to her the context. but i will tell her of the miracles, done by normal people. I hope she will never live through a time like this again. but the greatest survival tool that i can give her, is to keep some hope and share it with others.

So to all my friends here at TheProse, I wish you the same. look this harsh reality in the eye. don’t let it knock you down. find outlets to eliviate stress, and help bring yourself into a better place.

good luck, and BE STRONG!