Doctor’s Notes.

Entry Log 3

I don’t think there is anything wrong with the patient and I’m almost inclined to believe that his family is out to get him like he claims which is why they stashed him here. He doesn’t fit the mould of their perfect family and they registered it as madness. I just think his brain is underdeveloped. He has a very childish approach to things. It is very undesirable but I don’t think it is reason enough to have him locked up. The wildest thing I’ve heard him say so far is that he talks to God. Has conversations with Him every so often and gains information on how to better the world. And while that is absolutely insane, I’ve known Christians to go around with that claim and they are not being locked up.

Entry Log 7

Reality has dawned on Patient G. I think he has come to realise that he won’t be leaving this establishment any time soon. He asked if he was going home once the weekend was over. I wasn’t around but I got the news. He put up a fight, refused his meds and screamed to everyone that would listen how he is not mad. This is the first sign that he actually could be. It has been my experience that the maddest people are the ones who adamantly insist on their sanity. He has been giving everyone the silent treatment. Will the fact that the patient can’t communicate verbally affect my diagnosis? Not likely.

Entry Log 15

Have I learnt anything new about the patient? No. Some days, to be honest, my job bores me. I thought it would be exciting to dive into ‘insanity’. But there is nothing extraordinary about insanity. They get set in their insane ways and there the behaviour patterns are born. Habit is entrenched and there is nothing new to learn. Patient G has hang onto his right to remain silent. I didn’t think it was possible for a human to choose silence and stick to it. But the monks used to do this, didn’t they? Weren’t they also talking to God. In his silence he has taken to writing and complete compliance. He takes his meds and shows up for the group meets. His eyes don’t seem distant like most of the others. He always seems to be looking straight at me. Unflinching. Unblinking. Usually, I wouldn’t mind but in a madhouse, every thing, every act is questionable.

I tried to coax him out of his silence. I sit with him everyday for two hours and watch him write with all manner of concentration. He has symbols and numbers and words no one can understand. He expertly ignores my attempts at conversation.

Side note: I found myself doodling some of the symbols he was writing yesterday. Hanging out with the crazies is turning me crazy. I need a vacation! Or to turn myself in.

Entry Log 17

The nurse called me out to say that Patient G has been ‘possessed’. Yes, she used that very word as though she is not an esteemed colleague in the sciences. I wanted her to explain what she possibly meant by ‘possessed’. Was he levitating or channeling energy? I must be watching a lot of ghost stories. I blame it on the monotony of this job. But she rushed me to his room. And I think ‘possessed’ was a fitting description for the scene I walked into. Every possible inch of his room was room had been scribbled on and he kept writing. As high up as he could get anyway. He kept murmuring ‘Got to get it out’ over and over. When he was dragged away, he broke down into tears. Saying we were keeping him from his divine misssion.

Have I ignored him so much and in so doing contributed to his grave decline?

The positive from this, he has finally broken his silent spell. Maybe I can get some answers. I don’t want to clean up the writings yet. There might be something to them. And now that he is talking he could be enticed to explain them. I just need to appeal to his imagined ‘genius’. Not hard at all. Humans are always wrapped up in their importance.

Entry Log 21

Patient G is incoherent. Without his precious pens to write, he was taken to using his nails. It’s painful to watch. I can't imagine it's like to live through. Maybe it’s this environment that has cost him his mind. You see, when he came in he was absolutely sound. He laughed at my jokes (and that is always a sign of a sound mind) and talked about his future. Sure that lasted for about four days but he was there. And now I can’t help but worry that I have lost the world a ‘genius’. I did say his thoughts were childish at first, right. I don’t think childish thoughts cancel out ‘genius’. I believe excellence is best groomed in childish innocence. Not weighed down by the fear of failure.

But Patient G is not talking. Again! I have lamented this before - there is hardly anything new that happens in this house. When he does, it makes no sense. Because I seem to be registering a mental decline here, I am going to ask for Patient G to go back home. Three weeks and I have thrown in the towel! I’m an absolute failure of a doctor. Which is why I have sent in an application to work in a children’s hospital. I hope working with children will be less depressing.

I haven’t gotten to cleaning up that room. I’m going away for three days for my own sanity. Maybe when I return I will deal with this.

Entry Log 25

I hardly enjoyed my brief break. Spent every waking moment thinking of that writing and his claims. That he was given this information for the betterment of humanity. Sometime during my absence, Patient G went home. I understand he was happy to see his mother and took on a new aura we hadn’t seen in those days.

Back to the writings though, I had someone come to clean it up and he exclaimed when he saw it. Claimed this was a language on its own. An ancient language that is finding its way back in circulation. A number of scrolls were found in the desert. It’s been all the rage on TV and he has followed that development so closely. We called in the experts of course. They said that the writing is code for how to decipher the languages. The code of science demands that I only believe all this when there is evidence to support the claim.

Entry Log 53

Do you remember those mad writings Patient G scribbled all over my perfect walls? And the lost scrolls? If you dare to believe it, they used the scribbles and found that the scrolls embody a prophesy. That is good for the believers but I am hardly moved by those things. I want to write it off as a conspiracy. Someone planted them and sent the patient here. Why is it easier for me to make up things other than to believe what they have seen? Science!!

There must be sound reasoning behind the course of those events. Because if I dare to believe that Patient G was onto something - possessed some genius, I’ll have to consider that for all the loonies in here. And some of their claims are simply audacious!

But this will no longer be my problem. Uncle has asked me to join him in his private practise. It will be better than this I can guarantee. I can’t get out of this madhouse fast enough.