Mom in Mind

We could talk for hours about the simplest things. But even the simplest things were not the same anymore.

“What did you think of the polar vortex?” I asked.

“I don’t know, it had pepperoni on it.” she said. “Do you know how pepperoni is made?”

I just smile, “Enlighten me.”

A sparkle hit her eye as she went on, “They take the sausage and grind it up with herbs and spices, then cure it. It’s really a matter of pigs and spices.”

“Oh?” I said.

There was a moment of clarity in there somewhere. These were the things they said to watch for. Maybe there was still hope.

“Yes,” she said, “and the spices make it hot sometimes. Did I tell you about the one time your grandmother put spicy peppers in the milk?”

“She did?” I laughed. “When did this happen?”

“Oh, I think it was just yesterday,” she said.

She couldn’t possibly have forgotten that, I thought. I didn’t have the heart to tell her how long ago grandma had passed.

Mom continued, “She was making pancakes and decided to use the milk as a rolling pin. Oh you should have seen the mess!”

“Yes mom, I bet it was a terrible mess.” I sighed. “We need to get you back upstairs now. I will have to hear more about that story later.”

“But I don’t want to go upstairs! We are having so much fun.”

Mom was really good at resisting.

“Yes, I know. Maybe next time I can stay longer.” This was getting harder and harder every time.

“Why can’t you just stay,” she insisted. “I can bake you a pie.”

“No mom, you can’t bake me a pie right now. They don’t have an oven in your room.”

“Then let’s find one down here,” mom said, “I don’t want to go back upstairs. I just got here.”

“Mom, we have been here for four hours.” I was trying to squash my frustration.

“You need to take your medicine. I’ll have the nurse bring you up.”

“No you won’t!” she snapped.

“Ok, ok.”

Boy, she could be really determined when she wanted to.

Then, in my own moment of clarity, I said, “Mom, I’ll take you upstairs so you can bake me a pie. Does that sound good?”

_______________

#alzheimers and frontal lobe #dementia are terrible diseases that take our loved ones from us in ways unimaginable. This is but a shadow of the difficult conversations and the patience required to live through that progression. I hope it resonates. N.J. Karels