Nostalgia

‘Jacqueline’ her ears heard and she mistook it for her mind telling her to take a breather, just like she mistook the gloomy morning for pending rain now she was stuck in the middle of a hot afternoon clad in layers of clothing and sweat covered palms gripping several shopping bags as she waited outside the mall she just exited for a cab. ‘Jacqueline’ his voice said, she swallowed, disappointed that the occasional visits to the therapist didn’t stop her from hearing his voice, she made a mental note to book another tomorrow as she dropped the bags in her left hand to push back the hair plastered on her face, a few potatoes from a bag rolled out on the sidewalk, she dropped the other bags in her hand and unwound her muffler with the intent of tying a few bags with it. ‘Jacqueline’ she heard again, this time as clear as the tears of frustration gathering in her eyes, her eyes scanned her environment, seeing nothing but familiar looks from onlookers who wondered about the heavily dressed lady, she continued picking the runaway goods, she frowned a bit and then it clicked, she swiftly turned this time standing and there he was, walking towards her with a smile plastered across his face. He helped her with the bags and asked for the direction to her car, her response was the fear which froze her face and managed to dry her palms, her lips moved but no words came out as water filled her ears and drowned her senses, he dropped the bags and caught her midway to her fall.

She awoke sitting on a chair in a patio cushioned by her excess clothing which now draped on the chair. ‘Iced tea?’ He asked signalling to the waiter, ‘how?’ She croaked with her now exposed arms clutching her chest, ‘with honey just as you like it, would you want a sandwich with it?’ His voice sailed into her ears stirring memories she set on fire after each visit to the therapist, ‘no, how are you here... alive?, we buried you for crying out loud...at least what was left of you’ she said clutching the glass of Iced tea the waiter had just set down, he gave a sad smile and sipped his coffee burying his nose inside the mug like he always did ‘I was on that plane to Chad, I was redeployed to Cyprus that night....it was all too sudden, I didn’t have time to place a call to you’ ′ it has been five years....I thought I was loosing my marbles because I saw you in everything, heck! I lost my marbles and now that I’ve found them you show up?′ She cried ‘my mission demanded no communication whatsover, I kept getting reposted with the promise that each mission would be my last and that you knew I was fine’ grief now laced his voice and stretched over his fine features, she brushed his hair which he now wore long and reached out for his neck seeking for the scar he had there, praying it won’t be there, still convinced her mind was playing tricks on her. But there it was, the L-shaped scar which she showered kisses alongside his other scars years ago, 'still skeptical? ' his brows went up while his hands brushed the strands of her making its way to her eyes, she bolted back and reached for her jacket as goosebumps appeared on her skin. 'How is Claire? ....she should be eight now?' 'I thought you both were having a tea party in heaven' she said coldly. It was his turn to freeze; the hand clutching the mug went limp as the mug shattered on the pavement, 'how?' 'She died' she answered, pushing the chair backwards as she rose, he stood too tossing a few green notes on the table and grabbing the bags noting her avoidance of the conversation. 'Where is your car' he asked of the green four wheel drive he got her as a birthday gift, the one she drove Claire to school every morning 'I sold it...too many memories' she said as she flagged down a cab 'let's go to mine then' he said steering her towards its direction, she flinched under his touch and moved away, looking at everywhere but him. 'I sold the house too and uhm....I remarried' she said turning to look into his eyes' 'hope he laughs like Santa Claus and tickles you in the shower' 'we parted ways 3 months later...He needed a wife and well' she paused to remove an offending strand from her mouth 'I needed an escape' she whispered while opening the passenger door of the car, his journey to the driver's door halted as he turned to stare at her 'was it good while it lasted?' 'I felt like I did anytime we visited the snake section of the zoo with Claire, wearing a smile but screaming inside my head' he turned her around just in time to see a lone tear fall from her left eyes, he brushed her hair back and planted a soothing kiss on the bridge of her nose. She stiffened but loosened up seconds later basking in the comfort his touch had always brought her. She held on to him like he was her lifeline, placing her head on his chest listening to the beat of the heart she thought had seized long ago.

They stood for what felt like a lifetime, she drank in his warmth, the faint smell of his sandalwood cologne 'someone has been smoking' she said crinkling her nose 'once in a blue moon, I promise' he said laughing into her hair ' I should probably see Claire' he added blinking rapidly to avoid dropping tears on her hair 'she loved magnolias' she commented, lifting her head to stare into his eyes 'I would get her an entire tree' he said burying her head into his chest not wanting her to see his runaway tears.