What I Remember

It’s not something I remember all the way,

Or I remember easily, 

I know there was an old wooden cross,

Planted in the sand,

And the trees crowded around it

Until the sun set,

And shown through the trembling leaves,

And casting the shadow along

The benches where we sat.

I know after our stuffy, nine-hour long car drive

That I ran across the coloring sand

In my boxy, mint green dress.

And I tugged it up just enough so the hem

Didn’t get wet,

But the waves would leave bubbles between my toes.

I know I made a candle by dipping a long string into pots,

Of colored wax.

I was so excited by the rings of color at the end,

The orange, purple and pink,

That I kept dipping until,

The base was as big as my fist.

This didn’t make the craft lady happy,

Who scolded me more than once.

But I knew I was right,

Because my candle didn’t fall apart,

Like she said it would.

I know I wanted it so badly;

An eraser purple necklace from the gift shop,

My mom caved in and got it for me.

I know that it broke,

Two days later.

I know we played mancala

Outside of a cabin full of dead animals,

Bones and branches.

It was carved into the table

And we used rocks and acorns

As pieces.

I know there was a famous ice cream store

We passed before we came to camp.

It was called Blue Moon,

With a crescent

Flashing neon onto the cars as they passed.

I remember giddily peering through the clear plastic

Onto the tubs of fanciful flavors

I could choose from.

With all the bravery and excitement I could muster,

I picked Blue Moon.

I know we sat outside,

On the sticky, faux-stone benches

Under an umbrella impossible to open.

I know we entered a sand castle contest, 

And it was my job to gather driftwood and feathers

To make our Garden of Eden look real.

I know we sang silly prayers in the big,

Stained café before we got the chance to

Eat until we were full, and sip hot cocoa,

In the middle of summer.

I know one day while I was swimming,

I pooped in my swimsuit,

And without a towel

I waddled the sandy sidewalks

And creaking bridges

To our cabin where Dad was snoring on the couch.

I remember telling him I made a mess

But nothing afterward.

I remember Grandma

Giving my favorite Kitty

In her cabin after we played with puzzles.

Later, I’ll never know how much,

My aunts, Mom and sisters were playing Bingo

With me in the café.

I won, and out of the crate of prizes,

I picked another Kitty

Just like the one Grandma gave me,

Jojo won, 

And got a Kitty with orange and yellow

Stripes.

But after the game ended,

My sister Hannah didn’t win,

And with one sister with two cats,

And one with none,

My mother made me decide

Which one to give up.

Both were black and gray

And both were practically the same,

Except, one was far cuter than the other.

A moral dilemma burgeoned in my

Seven-Year-old mind -

Do I give her the cute one?

Or the ugly one?

I’d appreciate

Kitty, the cute one more – 

I let Hannah have the ugly one.

I know I used the individual

Coffee creamers as milkshakes

For my Kitty.

They kept them in a basket next to the

Coffee machine in the café.

Where kids found silly smiles

In drinking hot cocoa in the middle of summer.

I don’t know why

We can’t go back.

The way Mom and Dad explained it

Had to go with the owner molesting someone?

Or gambling the land away?

I choose to remember the pretty things;

The daddy-long-legs, the inchworms, the woodpecker

Under the bridge.

The red, rusty spigot we fruitlessly tried to spray

Off the sand sticking to our feet.

The hot metal canoe I sat in

As my parents paddled to the picnic.

The chance to sit under that tall cross and

Write while the pastor rambled on about on.

I don’t remember anything else,

Maybe someday.