Something’s different...

I woke up, my heart beating so fast in my chest and not even beginning to fathom what has happened. I remember telling him I loved him and fell asleep. If I’m going to be honest, it took 3 seconds to shake me to the core. I finally understood how they meant when they said he rocked my world - except for sex, of course. That's a different story.

It's been years. And yet, here I am frightened of what it could mean. It was one of those moments when time would seem to freeze and all I see is all of him. Normally, I would look at people’s eyes, expressions, and trying to understand how they feel and what they mean. Even to him. But last night, everything was blurred and it feels like we were looking only into each other’s souls. The look in his eyes - they were exactly the same as they did when we were younger. When I first saw how he really loved me and how true he was for me. And I’m scared, because I don’t know if it was true that we both felt it, or if it was one-sided. I’m even afraid to ask - I don’t think I’m ready for the answers yet. There are mysteries in my head I have yet to solve about us, about our relationship.

The thing is, there was this song that he shared in Social Media. It spoke of a man and a woman who seem to have missed each other and still has that longing. It’s just that they both try to deny the feelings that are arising but unable to refuse it. When I first heard it, I had three options. First option was that he liked the technicals of the song. He’s a musician, by the way. The second option was that he missed someone and he’s been thinking about her. The last option, however, was 80% impossible but I’ve hopes. There’s nothing wrong with hoping, right? Well, I’m thinking that maybe he’s falling in love with me again but he’s trying to refuse the feeling (I know, pretty assuming of me).

I guess I'll just have to sleep earlier tonight. I don't think I can handle any confrontations recently.