Little Fingertip Bruises

He was as warm as an August evening. He made me feel like I was fragile glass under his finger tips. He would hold me and I would melt into him. I hadn't known that I had invited the wolf in. A lot of people have lied to me but I believed all the sweet sugar that fell off his lips. His whispers left me breathless in the dark. I told him not tonight. I had spent the day in a whirlwind of emotions and still felt sick. My mouth sour as I laid in his warm embrace. I believed him when he said it was okay. Desperate to be loved. Felt like the right love could fix me. I never imagined how a wolf could break me. October 26 2013 was the last time I was able to fall asleep with the warmth of another person next to me. My bed no longer felt like my own. My skin was foreign to me. My body was a betrayal. Little purple fingertip bruise kissed my thighs. No longer safe. What do you do with skin that has been made dirty by a wolf? I wanted to destroy it. I begged my heavy breath to stop. I couldn't be released into the darkness of sleep for I feared he waited there for me and on most nights he did. I was confused by my feelings. I knew him. I knew he loved me. I knew he was good. He must have been good for me to love him. If I loved someone bad, what does that make me? I brought a cigarette to my lips on my front step in tears, lost, and broken. A friend came out to sit with me. He saw me curled into myself crying. I told him briefly of an attack. He replied " I can show you how a real man would fuck you." More Betrayal. More Fear. I spent a lifetime being abused by those meant to protect me. I thought I finally was free. My skin was cursed to be abused forever. It was the only explanation, I was created to be destroyed by any and everyone. I planned my exit. My sadness was too heavy for me to carry any longer. Death was sweeter than life ever could be. Death would be kinder to my tired soul than any day in the warm sun. With death holding me; no man could hurt me again. I thanked death for my freedom as I slipped away. I was then reborn like the fiery phoenix. Into this firebird of a woman. I was hot to the touch from my rage. Born again for revenge. Born to bring men to their knees, begging for forgiveness at my feet. I am here reborn with new strong clean skin. Unstained from the touch of any wolf. Wolves now bow to me in fear. I use them to hunt evil sickness that plagues the beautiful flowery fields. To protect the other little girls in red hoods that wander the deep wood.