against feeling

I tell you I study photosynthesis when I am weak,

in wildflowers, sea slugs, unpronounceable algae,

oh, how beautiful life must be to live with

no need for everyone else but still sustain yourself,

& here I am, decades old, rambling to you

who refuses to care for me, who I want to be,

are you listening, I envy robots, how they can process anything

without crying, feed them your worst sadness,

they won’t grieve, & don’t you want that, to live

a life without ache, or is the ache what makes us

not human but faithful, because we must believe

the ache breaks us for good reason, do you hear me, or else

there is no point in living, or there is a point,

but the point is sharp & ungodly, do you hear me,