Surface Smiles

How can it be

That no one hears the silence

How can it be

That they don’t hear it’s piercing screams

How can it be

They don’t see my world spin on its axis

Every time I take a blow

I’m locked in a black room

Screaming alone

Scratching and scraping at the door

Begging for release

Desperate to be seen

The world sees my surface smiles

Clown paint splashed across my face

Wash the evidence from my hands before they

glance

They’re blind to the concave indents buried in my chest

Dumbbell weights

Can blame be laid upon the door of their ignorance

Or is the way I internalise the culprit

My burdens are mine to bear

I feel,

Perpetual repulsion in voicing them

Not because they will be met with censure;

But because they are petrified of exposure

The way bowels ache to stay untouched

If a person were to rip them through the diaphragm

Just to analyse through tinted glasses

Contort their purpose

They would simply fulfill no purpose at all

And die amidst bitter air.

Alas

I reach in vain

For words that see my fingertips

And sprint with all their worth

From my uncertain grasp

Words that need, so desperately

To be heard

Words that secretly need a mother’s comfort

Refuse to be seen by societies glare

Indignantly retreat, for they know the degradation of being thrust beneath the limelight

To be picked apart like eagles prey

In the merciless pit of incompetent idiots

That have no place pushing their tainted perceptions

Making them such an imposition

The thought alone is enough

To force every cell I posses

To recoil

Like a mother python protecting her nest

Keeping her children warm

You don’t disturb them while they rest.

The world and his wife need crude descriptions of every dark corner

To even vaguely understand a persons reasoning and demeanour

Endless explanations

It’s hardly a wonder I find the world so tiresome.

Why do they not see me?

Why do they not read between the lines displayed in my eyes

And glimpse my soul

Hands on my skin are nothing

To reach out and touch my spirit

Now that’s intimate.

How can it be

That no one hears the silence

How can it be

That they don’t hear the crippling screams.