what we gained

Even months later, we pause

Before embracing. We are wary

Of one another: the hurt we might carry,

The pain we could give.

It’s difficult to close the distance now,

To get in our cars and drive forward

Into a changing world;

To start again. What

Have we gained? We wasted so many months

Of warmth, lying awake in our beds,

Letting feelings become stagnant. We thought

About each other. About ourselves. And

When our loves expired, we left them

Sitting out in our front lawns. We watched them

Decompose from our windows. We let it go on

For too long: always inside, looking out.

We thought this was a way to live, a way

To keep ourselves safe, away

From connection. We shielded our hearts, wrapped

Our mouths, afraid to breathe other air: what

Have we gained? we implore of our

Cat, who seems to shrug, stretched in the sun.

Our empty words bounce off disinfected surfaces

& find their way back to us.

They always find their way back - so do

Our loves. Maybe in different forms, through text

Or email or carefully penned letter. Maybe from

Different people. Like stray pets, ragged & hungry,

They arrive for us, just as we’re wondering

If we’ll ever get back what we had before, realizing

We never asked for what we needed, exchanging peace

For a lifetime of trivialities.

Love, then, was the question -

The answer, it seemed, was pawing gently

At our front doors; waiting

To be let in.