Change

In the eye of the storm

I realise, my mind is closed, heart open wide

Don’t remember the journey

Just the temptation, one quick jolt, no hesitation

Why wouldn’t I? What’s to stop me?

I know, I know, there’s three that need me

Selfish thoughts, pushed aside

But I can’t hide, the pit inside

First I falter, then I fall, down this never ending hall, It’s amazing that I breathe at all

Each time harder than the last

Each pastime never in the past, I suck the air in shallow and fast

A thick black mark, dark, stains my brain, darts across my heart, it thrives on pain, drives on, growing strong, hidden in a sad song

The smile goes on

Authentically plastic

Stand up quick, tell them you were just sick

Each day until the next day

Night fades away, the hurt stays and I pray

And the scars

The scars built from shame,

Dulling the flame, suffocating my brain

But today, today is another day

A new day, not a blue day

Because I took a pill today

And so I change.