Love is not an emotion you feel. It is a relationship you maintain. Every moment, you may choose to act on a bond that exists between you and a subject of your love, or to not; you can choose to be loving or not in the same way you can choose whether to in this moment be running, or hiding, or working, or playing, or helping, or harming. When you show someone they are seen, when you treat another as an equal, when you delight in their complexity, when you include someone in your plans for the future, when you give comfort and permit yourself to accept comfort, these are love. To be loved, then, is to be seen, included, inquired, comforted, and trusted in ways which are open, persistent, and intentional.

This is why so many emotions are tangled up in love. It is a way of living among others, and life is full of emotions. It is also why it is so dangerous to be without it. To be unloved is to be categorically misunderstood, unincluded, and untrusted. That pain is real, and that pain is important.

Please take the time to love. Please practice love to and for yourself. Especially when it is difficult, especially when it seems pointless, especially when it would be easier to harm yourself in whatever creative way you can. When no one else will love you, love you.