Off The Wall One-Liners - Originals By Me

Digging around for something to do, I was arrested. I was at a cemetary.

The sky is blue, nothing new, but if the sky blows, does that mean billions of people in heaven have weird happy looks on their faces?

Seahorse? Yeah. Seawater? Yeah. Seaweed? No, but I could go for some about now.

Sniff with the nose, smell the rose, life around us grows, while we sit and ponder prose, but most of all, who has the smelly toes?

Why say I Do at weddings, when after the honeymoon is over the I Do turns to, "Say what!"

Speaking of weddings, why isn't it the best man getting married ... after all he is supposed to be the "best".

Remember hearing someone tell you your plan will backfire saying, "It'll all just blow up in your face?" So I ask ... will it matter after that?

Then there is foreplay ... did you know when I first heard that word, I thought that meant there were four people in the same room playing Twister.

Another thing I didn't know growing up was the two words "drug money"... I couldn't figure out how Washington, Jackson, Grant, and Franklin could get high.

Warning Adult Rated Joke: What's the definition of a happy Roman? Gladiator.

I had to console a dear friend of mine the other day and said to her "Po-Em, it'll be okay."

Lastly my impression of E.T.

https://voicespice.com/Player.aspx?c=p&h=1AED36E4&j=1C4F88

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Strangely enough, though I have hit this numnber before

but deleted several things over time ...

this makes for post 1,000. Talk about comic relief!