the tabletop war

the table. a war ground, a place

where battle lines are drawn

between fullness and emptiness

a conflict of lacking interest and an over interest

a war between mind and stomach

between plate and food

plate and fork

fork and hand

fork and mouth

mouth and tongue

the warfare inhibiting the functionality

of swallowing, of tasting

it’s a crime to swallow, to taste

the bombs explode in brains

with crowds that shout and scream

with warnings, redirecting your attention

from table to exit points

“leave the room”

“don’t touch the fork”

“turn away from the table”

bodies shake

heads contort

i can’t sounds like i won’t

it’s too dangerous

lethal, deadly

this meal has the ability to hurt my family

that’s what the war said

navigating through the silence of the room

of the war on the table that’s mirrored in a head

is a swamp of detritus and mines

mines that can’t be detonated

all i can do, is sit and watch

try to be louder than the war, yet

my voice is heard as a snarl, a whispered

warning to ignore

as the war consumes

and leaves plates full...

© Sammie 2020

#TriggerWarning #EatingDisorder #AnorexiaNervosa #Recovery #StopTheStigma