Unlike Any Other

3:35 am, Highway 20 overpass. I saw him fall.

His body hit the road headfirst, and lay motionless. I drove past, all the more anxious to get home.

Twenty minutes later, I was moving quickly down the sidewalk towards my apartment. Looking forward to getting in the shower, to ‘clean out my brain’, as if that ever works. I see a figure on the far end of the hall, but duck behind the stairs. It’s an unwritten rule that you don’t see people outside this late. Though it would soon be early again, and then it would be alright. That was my favorite thing about this time; it gave me a reason to not exist.

But when I emerged once more, he was still there, at the foot of the stairs. I pulled out my phone and pretended to read all the boring messages I’d already read. Went passed up the stairs. Saw him following right next to me.

“Would you like a power unlike any other?” He said.

You’re not supposed to speak, you creep. I was more surprised that he spoke than by what he said. Creeps could be depended on to say weird things.

“I could give it to you, you know. You don’t want to be bored, forever.”

It was true, I was bored. Everything about my life was fine. But there was nothing that I really cared about.

“What would it be?” I asked. Now it was I who surprised myself speaking. Just ignore that freak. Go to your own home. But my heart was stronger than my mind. I knew something had to change.

“Good, for you we have... Telepathy. The power to read minds. It’s a special power, you know. Not many people can handle it.”

“I’m not sure...”

“Too late! Have fun, but there is a charge. We’ll talk about that later, though. Now is the time to enjoy yourself! So go, make the most of it!”

The door nearest him slammed in my face, and voices began wandering into my mind... not at all like anything I’d want to hear. Most of them, chaotic, disjointed. Dreams, I realized. At least I doubted that a McDonald’s worker and his pet frog-dragon were fighting off the Mother Owlbear in room 202...

But there were others, crisp, harsh. The real world. Unit 504 was brushing his teeth, getting ready for his morning. His wrinkles were starting to bother him. 316 was watching porn on his wife’s computer because his had ‘accountability software’ installed. 509 was angry because his lighter broke, and now he had to light his cigarette on the stove. Wait, what? I’d have to watch out for my house burning down over my head... 110 was having a fight; I could tell that much without any powers. 223 was sending messages railing about someone named Tom, which was funny, because that was also my name. Boy, did she have it out for this guy! I couldn’t think of anyone who I hated that much... Nor did I want to, in case they were reading my thoughts.

Soon I kicked my door open, and was surprised to see the lights on. Usually, my wife only came over Monday mornings, and spent the rest of the time... somewhere else. Now, I could find out where. It was surprising that I hadn’t recognized her thoughts earlier, but in the end, we weren’t that close. And the power wasn’t helping things.

“Hey honey, I’ve been waiting for you; I was getting lonely by myself. Wanna have some fun?” She said.

“Okay, just hold out a little longer. Keep him invested enough to turn over the condo, or at least the car. We’ve gotta get something out of this worthless b.s.” Her mind said.

She was trying to kiss me, lead me to the bedroom, but I couldn’t really handle it. That guy was right, this power wasn’t for everyone. And it wasn’t for me. But I had it.

The rest of the night was pure torment. “If Benny were here, he’d do me just like this, and it’d feel so good, but this loser doesn’t do anything. If this keeps up, I’ll have to give up the money and just see what I can get off Benny. He does have two jobs, after all, he could probably spare some change... But this guy doesn’t need any of his money, all he uses it for is feeding his own fat mouth. It’d be better spent buying me a purse...” And on and on. She tried, but she couldn’t get me up. Eventually it was over, and I went to work again. For once, I was glad to work consecutive shifts on three hours of sleep.

Walking into work, however, was also a new experience.

“Man, look at that babe’s legs!”

“Where the fricking frack is the swiss chard? What even is a bloody chard!?”

“Ugh, that fat guy is ugly as sin. Shouldn’t people like that just die of type 2 already?”

I had to admit that she had some impressive legs, but she wasn’t about to reciprocate that skinny nerd’s admiration. I couldn’t see any fat guys, though... Oh. Never mind.

Moving through the store was like a swarm of flies, buzzing over each other, and making themselves a nuisance to everyone. I walked up to my boss, and awaited my daily assignment.

“Man, this guy is darned useless. Where can I put him for the least damage? If only Marissa hadn’t taken volunteers, I could have at least cut his hours. I guess this is the only place he can suck this much, and still get paid for it...”

Four hours later I was heading home, sick of everything I was hearing. I lay in bed, feeling like I might throw up, never actually managing it. Hours ticked by, and voices came and went. At 8 pm, my wife showed up again, ostensibly to finish the job. But she’d never get my money now. And it didn’t seem I was sending thoughts, only receiving them. That was something.

The sun went down, and we headed down to a bar, ostensibly to spend some free time together, actually because that was the only place where I knew the thoughts would be worse than my own. And I was right.

The blues music gets a whole new level of atmosphere when it is punctuated with a hundred real life stories of the blue-eyed Sally who left you behind in Santa Fe... and the slurry erratic thoughts bumbling out of the more seasoned veterans. And then he arrived, and it was game over.

“Oh, Benny’s right over there, and I can’t even talk to him. If only shitface weren’t here, ruining all the fun...”

I looked over at this “Benny”. A muscly guy in a leather jacket, ordering whiskey over the rocks. The dark stubble over his face was meant to be sensual... though in reality, he wore a toupee, and dyed his stubble so it wasn’t a grey-blonde mix. He also was packing a massive cargo of crystal meth in the back of his Geo Tracker, though he neither made it nor used it. A truly classy gentleman. Too good for a loser like me to compete with. I stumbled out the door, not about to get in the way of their fun.

And I ran. Through the endless sea of voices, full of storms and waves, until it all faded away behind me. Out, through the trees I ran, for hours, until at last a found a place of total, perfect silence. I stepped out into the road, and saw a man approach me. Silently. And I walked out to meet him on the Highway 20 overpass.

“Your time is almost up, you know. It’s time for you to pay up.”

I nodded, knowing all along that this was my destiny. A car began winding down the highway. The two of us met above it, and clasped hands. They passed in silence.

And with a move well practiced in my career as a sumo wrestler, I locked his arms and flipped him over the railing. His body hit the road headfirst, and lay motionless. A semi roared down and flattened him with a sickening crunch. And receded into the distance. And from the forest road on which I came, another car appeared.

My wife got out and ran to me. I held her and looked into her eyes. And asked the question which was burning in my heart for minutes now.

“Would you like a power unlike any other?”