Sugar and Spice

Waking up on an island as always been a dream of mine. I always imagined that I would either be alone or with a few close friends. I quickly realize that this is not the island of my dreams. I am not welcomed with alohas or a lei, I have awakened to angry scowls standing over me. The sun is blinding. My head is pounding. What the hell happened?

And then I see her, perched on a bar stool sucking down a drink, her gorgeous red hair blowing in the breeze. Ginger. I jump up and scare the crowd back. I have to see if it’s really her, maybe she is a mirage. My palms are sweaty. Hell, my whole body is sweaty, it feels as if it is 120 degrees here, maybe I died and landed in hell. I’m not sure where I am or how I got here, but I have to know if it’s her. As I begin walking toward her, she puts her shades from her head over her eyes. I must be a sight for sore eyes and she’s going to have sore thighs if I have the pleasure of her passion again. “Ginger?” I quietly ask.

I’m positive it’s her. I glance around for the Single Mingling Cruise Ship, it’s nowhere to be found. That ship has sailed, I think, what a bad dad joke. Ginger left the ship the morning after our night together. I stayed on the ship. So how am I on the very island that Ginger left the ship for days ago? Has it been days? My head is still groggy. “Shhh, we cannot act like we know each other. You already ran over here like my lost puppy.” She tells me to follow her into a private room. I follow her like the good puppy that I am.

“I’ve been held hostage on this island for a long time. The prettiest people on this island are the captives. The uglies on this island are trying to create a beautiful group of people. They are studying breeding the pretty people. Every now and then, I sneak off of the island, but I cannot be gone long because they have chips inserted into us.” It’s a crazy story, and I’m selfishly thinking if I can get her in my bed again. The crazy ones normally do make the best lovers. It feels good to know that she wasn’t running AWAY from me; she was running BACK to her captures.

“How did I end up here?” I ask.

She shakes her head and shrugs, “I don’t know, but I’m going to say that it’s fate. Please help me escape these people.” I cannot help but think of Princess Peach. When we leave the privacy of the room, she whispers, “There’s the leader.” A large man with a dirty beard is eyeing us suspiciously.

I boldly walk up to the man and introduce myself, “Hello. They call me The Professor, and I’m going to take Ginger to the other side of the island.” I make this request with the hope that there is another side to this island. I haven't had any sightseeing oppotunties, needless to say. I hope these wackos do not cover the whole island.

He spits on the ground next to me, “You don’t suppose? You can leave my colony with her under one condition, you win a fight to the death with one of my workers.”

I agree. It’s my only chance. The uglies are probably going to kill me anyway.

“The fight begins in two hours,” he says as he storms away.

As I enter the ring to fight, I realize that I do not have a weapon or a shield. I have my trusty karate skills that haven’t been dusted off in years, and that’s it. Karate is like riding a bike, I hope. I’m fighting for my life and my love; I may not need a weapon or a shield. I image Ginger’s eyes from our one night of passion. Channeling my inner psycho, I let out a growl.

My competitor doesn’t look so tough when he enters the ring, and then he’s provided with a sword and a shield. This is not going to be a fair fight. The uglies chant and cheer us on, or I should say cheer him on. I see Ginger in the crowd, sitting with her hands folded in prayer.

He instantly charges me. He’s close enough that I can see his angry slobber trickling down. He doesn’t look human. I wonder if the uglies are also breeding warriors. I was able to dodge one swipe of his sword. I’m not so lucky with the second swipe, it slices a large gash in my thigh. My blood begins dripping like his angry drool.

Ok, karate, time to shine. He’s not ready for me. A few kicks to the face and he is dazed. I kick his sword from his hand, I hear the clang on the ground, even over the angry booing. A few more hits and he drops with a loud thud. The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Karate makes me feel alive and I celebrate a little inside. I’m going to survive! I grab his sword. I see him in my peripheral, struggling to get up. I’m on him like a lion on raw meat. I stomp on his neck, holding him in place, and with both hands on the sword, I drive it deep into his heart. His blood begins showering the ring like an indoor sprinkler putting out a fire. I do a victory howl. I find Ginger again; she’s standing now with wide eyes. The crowd is pissed, I wonder how we are going to make it out of here alive.

Damn, my leg hurts. The adrenaline is dwindling down, allowing the pain in. I get to Ginger as fast as I can with a hobble. I link my arm in hers, she’s now holding this warrior up. “Come on, love, let’s get out of this hellhole.” She smiles, making it all worth it.