10/07: Alone

So, I’m stranded in the woods now.

First off, it’s not like I just willy-nilly run off and get myself into worse situations, I just...look, I didn’t wanna be there anymore okay? I was just trying to get out, that’s all.

I’m okay though, and oh right, you’re going to be called Phillis because I can’t keep calling you “notebook” the whole dang time. ’Sides Phillis is a cooler name anyways! Anyway, so I’m stranded in the woods—and the smell is worse here than in town somehow. And oh right so I’m not in Nevivon anymore either I uh, so I think I’m home? Kinda. So I know it sounds really really bad but uh ... don’t judge me Phillis but I joined the fakers.

Wait, wait, it’s not like I believe them — I mean I’m still calling them fakers— I mean I talked with them. Something about a ship and lending me a hand ... something about “He is after you,” I kinda lost track.

But basically, they thought if I go back to my home place maybe something can help me get back home—to my real home. Well, it went well before we got attacked at sea—fake Jules sure makes a good zombie pirate.

Oh right yeah these guys are essentially Noddy’s courtiers? The ones that bribed me into doing that deal with The Devil? Or, well, everyone’s turned into them, they’re all undead and want to eat living things ... like me. I mean not that anyone didn’t wanna eat me before if you get what I’m — right okay. So, we’re out at sea we get attacked and the ship wrecked in someplace kinda near the Scourgies, but not really. I’ve pretty much been stuck on my own — I didn’t wanna have the fakers near me with a ten-foot pole— and I’ve been making my way by foot.

I guess being alone isn’t too bad. I mean, well, I’m not really alone because I have you, Phillis. Even if you don’t say anything, and everything I think you’re saying is me just imagining it because you’re a notebook, it is company. Like I’ve said, I’ve run solo before but I really don’t know how I did it. It’s hard to remember what I should do or shouldn’t do without someone being there to help remind me. Just... you already know Phillis.

Right well so, that’s how I left Nevivon. As for the ship I had well yeah that’s what all three of us were on and it’s been wrecked so if I’m walking anywhere I’m doing it the old-fashioned way. That’s fine though—Phillis you know I’m a tribesman like Ery? It’s one of the many things we bond over, we both grew up in tribes even though it’s like we were in two different worlds. Could you believe it, they didn’t even conquer other tribes? Something about just defending territory or something I dunno. But it’s still weird to see we relate about certain seasons and stuff and then see we learned different rules and stuff—Erys people seemed nicer and fancier than what I had as a kid.

Okay so yeah about the “stranded in the woods” thing, so fake Portie and fake Jules aren’t uh the only fakers around. So when fake Portie was talking about how Ariel—Bariel? I forgot his name already—The Brute being an actual brute uhh well she wasn’t kidding? Let’s just say I did win that fight, but now he’s hunting me because he’s mad he lost okay? Yeah sounds good thanks for agreeing with me Phillis.

...Hah, okay fine.

Look Phillis I just bumped into him and he just attacked me. I mean I always knew the guy was a brute, but he really ... like I ... I know I did an oopsie of making him be my personal gladiator and kill haphazard opponents in my Coliseum but he really looked ... bad. And well I uh tried to talk to him but he attacked me so I just casually stabbed him cut off his arm before finding a place.

I um ... so I think these things have this power or something because when I chopped off El Brute’s arm it moved on its own just fine? Last time I saw that was with that one time with that Plague Wyrm.

Gah, look that’s enough info from me okay Phillis? I know I’d be worse if I didn’t have you but you’re not Ery, I can’t just trust you with everything! I mean I don’t even like have the guts to tell Ery everything sometimes even though I should. So just try to be considerate yeah? You know, like Ery.

Hey, Phillis, is it normal for a place to be extremely cold? I mean not like winter cold just cold like the magic cold? Like this reminds of a spell Ery used when he made me a small gift — like the cold that makes you suck your thumb cold. I really feel like I’m about to get freezer burn out here, aw wait... I swear if it’s another ghost after me I will run away. Ghosts are the worst okay? Ery’s ghost yelled at me once and I hated it.

Man, the brute is noisy. I mean he was always noisy but like ... it’s even noisier than before and it just sounds ... painful. Anyways, so I’ve been hunkered down in what I think was his hut? But honestly Phillis I’m just trying to pass the time—can’t really get any shut-eye with him stomping around.

I know yesterday I kinda ... rambled. A little. ...Fine, a lot. I rambled a lot about silence but not having anyone while being stuck listening to these noises just ... it’s painful. But if I’m forced to just face things because I don’t have Ery here then fine. I just hate being alone in all of this, it just reminds me of everything; it makes things louder and makes my oopsies seem more ... worse.

And if isn’t El Brute — wait, I guess he’s a faker but I dunno I’ve always seen him as a brute so it feels real enough—giving me a sleepless night the beetles are worse now. The itchiness is bad and it just—like it feels like things are moving everywhere inside me now. Had my hand spazz outta nowhere while I was trying to sneak by some sleeping monsters. I didn’t spot any fakers, I don’t think, but those fleshy things didn’t look easy to kill.

That’s another thing nothing here is easy to kill—reminds me of a moment from way back. Red beetles kept reforming and not dying and I just ... ran. I guess I’m doing it again anyway huh? Listen Phillis I can’t keep ... I can’t keep writing Ery’s name inside you. Okay, nevermind; I’m not going to say that again, that reads a lot weirder than I meant it to be. Point is, the more I write about the more everything hurts. Between us both I ... I don’t know.

Honestly, I just wish this was some bad dream you know? Maybe I just drank too much or mixed things I shouldn’t have and this is the result of if all.

Huh, he stopped making noise ... looks like I can finally get some shut-eye. But yeah, Phillis, don’t take offense it’s just ... in trying to survive here okay? Sometimes it’s better to not remember who I love in a time like this.