10/08: Web

Oh my god, Phillis, I’m alive.

You know, I think treating you like a person who has a severe sleeping disorder helps with the fact I have to write things down so I can talk to you. It’s like writing a story, kinda ... except the story is actually real and maybe I might die—anyway, right.

So I headed out after Ariel—the brute—stopped making his noises and things were going fine but then I smelled something good, like really good. I’d been getting kinda hungry lately and I figured if I could get a free meal in a spooky forest then finders keepers losers weepers! Right yeah, looking back that probably wasn’t smart but I’m alive so that’s all that matters in the end.

I’m following the smell and stuff, and then at one point I’m lead to a clearing. Okay, yeah, it sounds like a horror movie, but I was hungry okay? So I kinda peek around, 'cause I was literally ready to fight the monster brute boy for this piece of grub if I had to, and then I step in something that feels soft and silky but also sticky. I keep trying to move closer to the smell of food but I start regretting everything because I realize more of that soft and sticky stuff gets all over me and then I hear this hiss.

Yep. Giant spider—I may have incidentally walked into a trap from some giant spider and now it was gonna eat me. Actually it’s why like you’re all messy and covered in webbing, Phillis, because I, uh, so ... I did slay the spider of course even though it was terrifying; but I was stuck for a bit. And yeah, no, I mean it; I did kinda almost die, but that’s why I was lucky and smart enough to angle my sword to cut me wiggle room to break free and fight the thing.

Also as if that trick wasn’t mean enough, there wasn’t any food! The smell went away the moment I finally got that eight-legged freak to flip over onto its back. Oh right, but I was amazing in that fight! You would have loved me, Phillis, I would have made you swoon but then crush your heart and tell you, “Sorry, sweetheart, I’m-”

Never mind forget I made that joke. But yeah, there was gore and guts everywhere and it was finally nice to face something in this place that could die! Like the moment I stabbed that thing in the butt I thought it would regenerate like all the other freaky abominations I’ve seen in this place but it just, like, bled! Just pure, old-school bleeding; something that isn’t scary and I can work with!

It was a good night, even though I’m left kind of hungry. You know, it’s weird ... I managed to catch a small quail to eat and fry but even though I ate it ... it didn’t even taste like anything? Like I like ox tartar any day, but I do remember how quail tastes for me and it’s not bland—I think. ...Yeah, maybe it’s just cause I got a small quail maybe that’s all it was. It’s not because of anything else. Why would I even let that thing mess with me like that?

Anyways so I managed to find a shelter in this guy’s den. At least it doesn’t smell as bad? It’s weird it’s like it reminds me of a normal smell—you know? Like yeah, it’s a smelly monster den but it’s at least not smelling like how everything in this place smells. Or how I’ve been smelling...

I miss being able to have a bath or a shower? I really miss being clean; I don’t mind having a bloodbath and stuff but like I want to be clean, too? I wanna smell nice because then I can look all handsome and dashing just like I used to back at home. But, yeah I haven’t been able to since nothing here looks even a little like I could bathe in it. Well and when you’re running away from your mistakes you don’t really get a chance to sit down and bathe for a bit.

Just, uh...

You know, Phillis, I get you’re just a notebook and maybe I drew this face on you five minutes ago, but I don’t like how you give me the eye like Ery does. Like, what? I told you what I was going to—I just wrote down his name again didn’t I? Okay well, in my defense, that was just a slip of the tongue it doesn’t mean anything. You can’t make me think about him, you know why I can’t. It doesn’t matter that it gets more awkward talking to you inside this spider’s den, you know why I’m not gonna be doing that.

Hey you know, spiderweb, like, when it’s thick like this is pretty nice and soft. I could use it as a blanket actually, and I’m sure if I knew magic I could do things that involve making people or things trapped—fun party trick kind of thing you know? That and this place is great for hunting; yeah sure the smell the spider had been luring animals with is gone now, but that’s what hunting skills are for, Phillie!

After all, I'm the Count Lucio didn’t grow up in the Scourgies just for show; I know how to hunt and gather. I got a nice boar today, just had to let it chase me in here and that thing got

Stopped in its tracks quick. It wasn’t a big one though and it was kind of on the slim side but it was enough to have food in my gut.

You know, yeah ... a lot of the animals here are kinda small and skinny. It’s kinda like no one’s been feeding them and it’s just not something I’m used to? I dunno, all of the animals looked fine back in real Vesuvia looked fine — except for the Lazaret. Well, maybe they used to be good before I did my set of oopsies over there too.

Phillis you really gotta stop looking at me like that. I told you I’m not doing it; end of story. And no, I’m not crazy for reaching this point in my talking to you—it’s totally normal to be this close to each other in, like, a week—you’ve been by my side, buddy! Even if you were knocked out because well ... I need to write in you.

It is nice to have a cozy shelter for the night and at least I can trust nothing else is gonna come in here and try to snatch me up. But I need to keep going I think? Fake Portie and fake Jules made it clear that something in the Scourgies could help me out. Either they were being weird and didn’t tell me what it is exactly, or I didn’t remember and they did tell what it is exactly but it was still in a weird way.

They both talk so weird, it’s like those creepy twin people you meet sometimes, you know what I mean Phillis? Like the two dweebies who like finish each other’s sentences and just say very little but the other one reads them like a book kinda weirdness. I know the real Portie and real Jules are sibs, but I don’t remember them ever being that close.

If I get a few more boars, maybe even deer, I can make a fur cloak to wear on my way to the Scourgies; it’s gonna be cold, and while I can manage that I’ll need something to help during the night-time drops and snowstorms. Anyways, I’ll talk to you again when we make it Phillis. Catch ya on the other side.

And no. I told you I’m not talking about him anymore with you. I mean it.