Emptiness

Missing someone isn’t about how long it’s been since you’ve seen them or the amount of time since you’ve talked.

It’s about that very moment when you’re doing something and wishing they were right there with you.

I started back-sliding into nostalgia.

With social distancing in full force, I’m left wondering when I could put these thoughts to rest. I still find myself imagining she’s just on a long weekend out with a friend.

Even though she did acknowledge and wonder aloud during the final hours of the traumatic pandemic breakup:

“I wonder if I’m a piece of shit (for leaving you after cheating on you after you supported/tutored me for years).”

Nothing I could say at that point mattered.

Her mind was made up.

And she decided to put me down for good.

But even so, I wish we could speak once again.