Advice

Because you asked, here is an idea. Hope you don't think I am lame! Why dont you write what you typically write, spill out all the pain and then rewrite it as the joyful story you wish it to be. I hope you don't mind, I took the liberty to rewrite a piece of yours that I really connected with into a joyful piece, as follows:

"We created a world big enough for the both of us; big enough to fit your pain and mine. The garden we made together has grown and flourished. There is a big open room allowing us the space to love each other. You cleaned out the boxes from your childhood, along with your addiction. I built a castle for us, one where we could get away from the world when we wanted, a place where we could patch and paint over the crumbling walls, gazing upon the rolling hills outside of the picture window. We found our way, making a new world for ourselves, with a new garden where the seedlings are blooming and thriving. I wish the whole world could see them now, as they breathe."