Chapter 7: Bashful
A/N:
″Yavee Tarrox Xeiniir, grom’ushukinya saborrox neikai. Yavee Tarrox Xeiniir, grom’karusukinyar’ broxkii ya.” - A Xaranian Shaman incantation used to draw from the power of the tarot Arcana and seek for their guidance. Literally translates to “I invoke you, Great Tarot, invoke you for I have not been pious. Great Tarot, show (me) my wrongs.”
Kosya/kosyii - formal honorific for a stranger whose name is unknown, kosyii is the plural form.
Miir - honorific for teacher/mentor.
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The tarot cards dance effortlessly between my palms; drawing from their power, I feel the warmth of their golden aura coursing through my veins. My eyes still stained with tears and my arms sore from the fight left an unpleasant physical and emotional twinge of pain on my conscience.
″Yavee Tarrox Xeiniir, grom’ushukinya saborrox neikai. Yavee Tarrox Xeiniir, grom’karusukinyar’ broxkii ya.” I murmur over and over as the movement of the cards swirling pouring from my bag and spiraling around me causes a wind that moves my hair. A presence taps its hand on my shoulder, the cue to open my eyes and read the three cards in front of me: The Star lays reversed, Temperance lays reversed, The Moon illuminates with an iridescence in its upright position.
″Xae,” I nod solemnly, “I have sinned. I fought an unnecessary fight, I let myself be deceived into something I could have chose to not let this kosya influence me. I needed to listen to The Moon and her voice of logic, but I failed.”
The cards slow down to a halt, gently floating back down onto the ground into a neat pile for me to collect. As I usher them gently into my pouch, uttering my thanks, I lean my head back against the wall, “The people of this place are something beyond me, I believe. Whether it’s their cultural values that take what I’ve known and inverse them like the Arcana themselves, or their methods of obtaining what they want ... they are something that is almost worrisome as The Devil himself.”
Staring up at the ceiling of the room, I reflect on my past memories; doing everything in my power to forget the moment I’d succumb to sin, ”...I will see them all again soon. I will be around the people I am familiar with, the home I am familiar with, the friends I love, and Lushiyo. I must stay centered, that is key here. For their sake, that is what I must do.”
I hear the sound of footsteps approaching my bunker, and silence myself, but straighten my posture in case something is needed of me. Two robed kosyii enter and I can only presume it’s the two I’ve encountered as I spot the familiar set of sharp teeth as one of them partially removes their facial covering.
“How have you been recovering, Eridæus?” the female kosya asks, staring quizzically at my Tarot card pouch.
“I am fine. Is there is something I must do for today? Another trial?”
“She has no orders for you now,” my former opponent answers, his grin widening, “But you’ve certainly turned heads. Well done.”
I bristle at this, “I appreciate the compliments, then. I promise I will let either of you know if I need anything, otherwise, I believe my wounds are fine.”
The female kosya chuckles, “No other requests, at all?
“No, thank you. I will be fine on my own, I needed to practice some spells regardless.”
They both stare at me in silence, and a part of me wants to beg them to leave; haven’t they had their fill of analyzing me as such? They claimed I had left a sufficient profile for their Overseer, surely this was just becoming ridiculous at this point.
“I am sorry, but is there something I am not aware of?” I ask after another minute of silence passes by us, “I am not sure why you are still here unless I am needed for another session.”
“You’re interesting, Eridæus,” the female finally responds before turning her back towards me and gesturing for the male accompanying her to follow suit. “Very interesting.”
Finally, they leave the room, the sense of privacy offsetting the foreboding sense of loneliness lurking with a twisted form of comfort. I could try to contact Lushiyo again, perhaps even Asra-miir, but the one thing that halts me from enacting such thoughts is the face of being listened or watched by these kosyii.
Though I was taught how to deal with outsiders, there will always be a strong comfort in being with one’s familiars--friends and family alike. These kosyii seem to exploit their ability to invade others’ privacy and it is not something I wish to experience too often. There are other parts of myself I am certain they wish to see from me, but I will be diligent in keeping them hidden.
My safety lies with those I cherish.