My vulnerability

I've been homeschooled my entire life. I've never had constent friends, even when I had extracurricular activites. I don't know how to socalize, and I'm a awkward mess in public, too nearvous to shake hands, hiding behind my parents, or siblings.

Receantly, about a year ago, really, I tried to open up. I made friend with a girl who I will not name. I helped her in our extracurricular activity that we shared, as I was quite good. However, the moment she made Varsety team of our activity, she started to dirft away. It started with her not sitting next to me like normal, even when I asked. Then, she wouldn't talk to me afterwards, talking with others instead, barly acknowelging me. Finally, it got to the point when she wouldn't even return the hello I gave her when I walked in the door.

I was crushed. Every time in my life before this, I had made every effort to make friends, but it never got of the ground. with this girl, we HAD been friends. we went to a camp, and during the classes, we always sat next to eachother, at lunch together, and hung out with her friends. but, once she got where she wanted, she left me in the dust.

I made a resolution one night to talk to her, and tell her how much she hurt me, but that didn't happen.

That night, there was a team meeting. There was a girl on the team, who had previously been the star, and was the daughter of the coach. At a event, my sister outshot her, and she didn't like that.

The girl told a lie about my sister, and my would-be friend went along with this lie, as well as the rest of the team. They ended up suspending my sister from the varsity team for something she never even said. the lie they told, it could've gotten my sister in jail.

So, I don't do friends anymore. that girl used me, and hurt my entire family.