Wisdom? Wisdom.

My friends keep a collection of our wisest words. Here’s some highlights.

“Like most ants, beetles also have an exoskeleton”

-Me, June 27 2019 4:15am

“I’ve never had a bean of this species before.”

- B, August 25 2019

“I had a dream that I was being humped - no shit! - HUNTED by Mario and Luigi.”

- B, Sept 26 2019

“Could thou spare but a crumb of crack?”

- B, October 15th 2019

“It’s not just a pussy, it’s magic!”

- M, October 30 2019

“ ♪ The holy cross… the fucking grape ♪”

- M, Nov 2019

“Flies are tiny demons, confirmed?”

- B, Dec 5 2019

“He’s my bread.”

- F, Dec 26 2019

“Ok, imagine if you could feel Shrek”

- J, Dec 31 2019

“Where there’s heat, there’s fog.”

- A, Jan 11 2020

Me: I’m tired of cleaning up other people’s shit

F: I’m tired of cleaning up my own shit

M: I’m tired of my own shit

F: I’m tired

A: Shit.

-Jan 11 2020

“Imagine the cronch of mints but wrapped in flesh”

-Me, Jan 21 2020

“Cats have pronouns and you need to respect them”

-B

and yes I can give context for these if needed

_____________________

some extras: (I wasn't here for all of these so i'm honestly pretty confused about some of them ngl)

“Now as I fucking lay here on my fucking death bed. I look up at the fucking stars thinking about how I’m a fucking saint. A-fucking-men!”

-Me, June 5th, 2019

“I have paparazzi now!”

-F.r

“My eyebrows tell a different story.”

-Me

“Alas, mellons.”

-F.r

“You should tell that at stories.”

-A

“I’ve had like 3”

-M, August 25, regarding alcohol

“Fucking strut you majestic bitch!”

-M, September 26

“J did that not me, don’t involve me with that crazy bullshit bitch!”

-A, September 26

“No Dope”

-A, September 26

“Because a computer is made out of pickles”

-F, Nov 20

“I have all the thumbs!!”

-F.r, Dec 31

“Racism and weebism is basically the same thing”

-J, March 31

“I just like to think about how I’m a meth-head all the time”

-M, April 14

“Wait, you know J? You’re pretty cool, you can sit with us at lunch”

-Me

“Ow why is it so hard?”

-A

“I’m a giz bender”

-F.r

“It’s like a non-consensual game of man tracker!”

-B

“It’s just feet! What the actual hell!?!”

-F.r

“Who’s there? Calf pain!”

-A, July 18

“Wakey wakey, French toast”

-F, August 3

“Ham and green pepper”

J do you have ham and green pepper?’

-I think this might have been me? or maybe F? (there wasn't a name)

“It’s time to get fat!”

-Me, October 5 2020

“I like- I don’t like—- I don’t know how I feel”

-F, October 5 2020

“I like black coffee for its politics”

-A, October 13 2020

“Imagine cutting your dick in half”

-Me, October 19 2020

A: “The gun is sex!”

Me: “No the gun is the dick!”

-October 19 2020