Im just so fucking tired

One month ago my boyfriend left me. He told me once he wanted to marry me - that he had never met anyone who makes him feel the way I do and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I told him I was too young and so was he but that I felt the same way and someday we would get married. And then he left. I guess he had a good reason - long distance is awful - but I wasnt ready to let go. Then he lead me on. Told me he wanted to get back together, that he still loved me, that he wanted to get married still. Then he took it back. He played me over and over again, guilting me into giving him space in my life that he told me he doesnt want anymore. Forcing me to cae when he told me he didnt.

My boss doesnt care about disabled people. Which, as a disabled person, is not ideal. I have to fight every day for her to care that our job and the things we organize have to be accessible. I’m 18 years old and day in and day out I am fighting with a grown ass woman about whether or not it matters that the students we teach who are physically disabled cant participate in movement Fridays.

I cant sleep. And it doesnt help that I cant for the life of me remember to take my meds. I go to sleep so late that when my alarm goes off in the moring I instnctively snooze my it and lose my window of oppurtunity to shower before work. I havent washed my hair in an obscenely long time and I feel disgusting but I just cant bring myself to do it.

Im just so fucking tired all the time. Emotionally. Physically. I am fucking exhausted and I dont know how to not be.