pt 2: them

we make dreams

we chase peace.

we get lost

and drift away,

come together

to find some kind

of fatal harmony.

someone makes me fly

let’s me smile, let’s me cry

guides me,

listens,

but doesn’t come thru

unless it’s most

convenient.

another steps in

always leading the way,

resilient,

so strong,

and so much like me.

maybe that’s why i turn away.

he lets go so easily

cause he thinks it’s right

he tries,

but he hides

keeps himself in the background.

the other never backs down

even when it’s not his fight

he’ll take every hit

just so i remain all right

both are good intentions

but can’t be compared

each has his own,

and both sides stay fair.

one would take a bullet for me

one would knock the gun away.

one would always come back,

but one wouldn’t leave my side.

i’d die for both of them

give everything i have

they both want me here

but for who am i to live?

if i could hold both hands

i swear that i would.

my heart can be divided

but only for someone good

and i’d shout it from the roof

that i’ve never met anyone as worthy

as either of these two

so how can i choose?

both are beside me.

both make my stomach turn,

each has their own powers..

our relationships are vastly different

but only we know what’s ours.

i cant describe the things i feel,

for him it only takes a glance to see

if i’m not okay or overthinking;

he needs to be told

he notices but doesn’t know

and when i can’t explain to one,

the other isn’t around

of course i need both

i’m independent but reliant

and truth be desperately told

i’m too attached,

love can’t describe it.

i back off when things get good

i know i don’t deserve it

can’t accept when i should.

so even when i’m scared

even when i shut you out

i’ll never let go,

but i can’t help but doubt

that we’re gonna be stolen

someone else will come

and take my part.

i can be replaced

then there’s nowhere else for me to stay,

so let me stay in your heart

with all those feelings

all of our fear

hold us tight

keep me close.

don’t leave me, no matter what

i need you, even if it’s not

exactly what you’d want.

i can’t hurt you,

can’t break your heart again.

for some i can’t be friends,

for others that’s how the story ends.

where we began

is what defined it all

now we’re stuck reliving,

playing pretend

as if our roles are permanent

like this is what destiny is

maybe fate is unknown

our futures are still untold

but as we are

here and now

is enough

has to be enough

or we’ll never find out

how to be satisfied.

I love you, you know?

In a complicated way

In a powerful way

In a pure and genuine and real way

In a movie kind of way

In a way I can’t share

Not even a fraction

So if anything changes

And my secret gets out

Everything crumbles

And the lights go down.

you know how i feel

(but)

please accept how we are

what we have is real —

for

you’re both so important

and i’m not a big deal.