Pretty Please/d

I saw someone in front of my counter with the mask in place like it’s supposed to be. But I looked into the eyes and stopped short. They were puppy dog eyes! There were no whites! Maybe they were aye-aye eyes, but regardless, they looked bizarre.

Whereas humans often look up at the menu overhead so that I see the direction they’re gazing, this creature instead had to point with its long claw-like middle finger. This gesturing struck me as being something a non-primate would do. Puzzling!

Having been taught the virtues of patience, I waited. Finally, it stated its order. There was nothing unusual about the order: a patty of dead animal muscle on buns and cut, fried tubers. That is, nothing seemed out of place until after the order was placed. It was then that this ... person? ... added, “and I’ll have mine with sugar on top, pretty please. No, wait! Please make it with sugar and a cherry on top! Yeah!” Then I declare if it didn’t pull up its mask, lean across the counter, and lick me on my forehead. As it walked away to wait for the order, I saw its disproportionately long, bushy tail wagging furiously behind.