Mama

I could not have come there without mama. I swear she was there.

When we buried her I did not really know it, never even allowed myself to understand. Preacher said some words and somebody sang Amazing Grace and we all went back to the house and when they told stories of her I finally asked where she was. It was some stranger told me she’s dead boy. I laughed pretty loud, like it was a joke. Nobody else made a sound. In that silence, is when I first realized they did not know either what I did not quite know.

When I finally came there, where they said was a place that does not exist, I came there with her, was led there by her, could not have done it without her.

Other day, my father called out her name and my brother had to tell him she’s gone. Dad has to hear it every so often because of his dementia.

I said to him where’d she go and daddy touched my face and then knocked on top my heart with his hand and said, You won’t go nowhere without her my son.