Two hours of torture

Have you ever been slide whipped before? It's an excruciating experience, trying to stay focused, to numb the pain as it enters the mind then leaves effortlessly. I honestly believe it never enters the mind, for the true torture is not the experience of getting whipped, and trying to attempt to look like I am fully engaged, but the torture is being trapped in a room with all your colleagues, listening to a presentation that will be obsolete in a month when I could be home with my family.

It's somewhat similar to when one of your friends calls you to complain about something that you really don't want to talk about so you put the phone down and listen to the mumbled talk coming from the phone and you just pick it up every now and again and acknowledge them with,

"Yeah, okay, uh huh..."

Slide whipping is a terrible punishment especially when it's done by a nerd who assumes you know what they are talking about. They rarely, if ever, put any pictures that correlate with the slides because they didn't feel like it and perceived the information the only relavant thing that needs to be conveyed (even though no one in this room cares about the information).

We are all only here because this damn meeting is mandatory. Why does someone need 50 slides if we only need to know maybe three sentences from your entire presentation? We are only nodding in protest; with glazed over eyes that have been suffering as we ponder,

"WTF does that graphic have to do with your slide? Is it a molecule? a flow chart? Or did your kid just upload some virus to your computer while you were home schooling."

Look man, I already forgot what you were talking about before, during and after your long drawn out presentation that you gave to us in a language that only you understand. Look around the room! Poor Bob is making love to his donut, Ed hasn't made it back from the bathroom (because his zipper got stuck again), and Sharon is on level 57 of tetrus...

Me, I'm on an island somewhere, with a drink in my hand and feet in crystal clear ocean blue water. Uh oh, I think Shane is about to ask me a question, I better plot my escape to the restroom...