School Night Abduction

I don’t know why aliens took me or why I was all tied up. I mostly don’t know because they talk funny like my cat that got eaten. They only talk to me a little in English. They told me that I was a fine specimen. I don’t know what that is, but maybe they were trying to say space man. I made sure they knew I wasn’t a spaceman because my mommy said that I gotta grow up first. They only told me “We know you’re not a spaceman, Earthboy we have been tracking you.”

They said something to each other and all laughed. I hate when people don’t tell me jokes cuz I like to laugh too. So I asked what the joke was, and they said, “You look tasty.” I didn’t know how that was a joke, though, so I only giggled a little like I do when daddy says a dad joke. They seemed to like that I laughed, so they untied me.

They told me to dance because they were “making special notes.” I told them I needed music to dance “silly gooses.” They wanted to know why I called them gooses, and I smacked my hand to my forehead. I keep forgetting it’s geese not gooses. Mommy told me I sound silly when I call them gooses.

Mommy isn’t going to like that I’m up late on a school night. She told me that I’d be “as tired as a bear after hibernation” if I didn’t get my sleep on school nights. I ain’t never seen a bear in person before, but when I asked if theyre real tired after hibernation, she said “Yes indeed they are. And grumpy too.” I don’t know how she knows this cuz I don’t think she’s seen a bear after hibernation, but I believe my mommy.

I tell the aliens that my mommy said I gotta go to bed early on school nights. I also asked them if they could drop me off at home because I didn’t think my mommy would be able to pick me up cuz she was in “an important conference” she said.

They didn’t want to take me home at first and I told them I had fun playing with them too, but mommy was gonna be mad at me if I wasn’t in bed by 8:00. I think they thought mommy was gonna be mad at them too, so they said that they’d take me home.

They said they’d get an adult next time, so they weren’t so annoying, but I think they were just angry that I couldn’t stay and play. “Good choice,” I told them, “Adults don’t have to be in bed at a certain time because they’re grown ups.”

I ’membered later that they would also be tired in the morning cuz they gotta get up early for work, but it was too late to tell them because I was already in bed, and mommy was telling me goodnight.