It Hurts

It hurts that I can’t be

what everyone wants

or what anyone needs

and it hurts that I can’t be

what I want

or what I need

because I’m not enough

and I won’t be enough

and I’ll never be close to enough

and I’m just so damn tired.

And then, the tears start to flow.

.

.

.

.

.

Trust me, I know how it feels.

I know exactly how it feels to cry

in the shower so no one can hear you.

I know what its like to wait for everyone

to be asleep so you can suffer in silence.

For everything to hurt so bad

you want it all to just end.

I know exactly how it feels.

Which explains why every night,

I just lie in bed,

and hope to fall asleep

before I fall apart.