Growth

When I was just a young child, pushing away the dirt in my way to sprout, thirsty for water and knowledge and sunlight I strived to feel warmth and be consumed by wildlife. I conjured a need to breath fresh air but at some point growing became harder as I realised dirt wasn’t the only thing in my way. Like other branches fighting for dominance trying to inhabit a place that belonged to no-one but life itself. I thought the sticks and stones in my way up couldn’t break my bones until I learned the concept of anatomy and that literary devices such as metaphors aren’t meant to be taken literal. I learned that nothing is really said as is and soon the lies caught up to me until one day I felt as if I was growing the wrong direction. As if I hadn’t learned anything at all and used the saying “ let the earths core swallow me whole” literal. I embraced the cold and made a home in darkness reassuring myself that this world wasn’t meant to make everyone happy therefore we all adapted to its circumstances over the years.

So I adapted. I let my skin soak up the cold so I wouldn’t need a sweater or a friend or a hug. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness so my glasses were redundant and the colour-blindness I acquired over the years underground felt normal. The once faint outlines in the dark transformed into intricate mosaics which I could study for days on end in the dark, alone. Through this stage in life I learned a lesson that I have yet to forget.

Find beauty in the darkest moments.

Now that I am older and wiser but still not whole I look back at my once pasty white body littered in freckles and moles and marks like a old used book and I see a blessing. The freckles that never stopped abundantly appearing turned into angels kisses that only ceased for I have finally learned how to blossom on my own. The marks transformed into a reminder to use this body with pride driven by a destiny created by wherever endorphins may flourish.

After all these years of adapting and adjusting my eyesight to various gradients of light I can finally see that this old used book was always the home of my favourite story

and I can see that all without glasses,

and all in color.