to: you (prosers who read my writings, among other things); from: me, in a jumbled mess

i do not know how to say it,

but i am

i am very

i am feeling very

(for lack of a better word)

compressed.

compressed, that is,

beneath the

desire to tell you,

to show you

hope and love and light and God and every good thing and that

there is a way out of

this darkness that i feel, that,

perhaps,

you feel, too.

and that feeling is so very

compressing

because i’ve got all of this

not

hopeful, loving, light-giving, God-shining, good-focusing things,

or

ways to help you fight/swim/run/live

through the darkness until you see a light on the other side

that i feel, and,

perhaps,

you feel, too;

but it’s all.

um.

a lot of stuff.

not hopeful things, or loving, or light-giving, God-shining, good-focusing,

or even,

ways to help you fight/swim/run/live

through the darkness until you see a light on the other side.

it is only grief that i can stand to speak,

only,

exhaustion, that i can

seem to

convey.

i am sorry.

i am sorry that it is this way,

but, then again,

i am

not.

because i am being

honest

with you, and i believe

that this is a

step

in the right direction.

if nothing else, i am being honest with you.

if you take nothing from my recent poems, nothing at all, please understand

that it is honesty

written in my poetry.

h o n e s t y ,

and i plead with you to be honest, in turn -

not necessarily,

with me (i can hardly ask that of you, but, if you would like, i am here),

or with prosers themselves,

but,

be honest

with those you love

and who wholly love you back (no matter how much you think they might love you [as in, less than you love them], but if you love them, please, please, please be honest with them.)

or, at the

very

least,

if you are still

working

on being honest with others,

(which is plenty fine, i understand,)

(i spent a long time)

(figuring out how to be honest with myself)

(before i could be honest)

(with anybody)

(else)

please be honest with

yourself.