Hurt

Why do I hurt so much? I feel so numb and empty all the time and I don't understand why. What have I done to deserve feeling this way for so long? I try my best to be good, to love, to give, but all I get is this feeling. I dread waking up everyday, because I know that everday will feel the same as the last. I don't want to look for better things because I know that it will never be what I wanted it so desperately to be. I think back to when I was a kid, when so many things made me feel. Excitement, butterflies in my stomach, goosebumps, pits in my stomach. Everything felt so magical in a way. Fairy tales were true, I could become the hero of my favourite stories, I would fall in love like the movies. But those things weren't really true were they? They were imaginations created to make us feel better about life, because without those things we realize how empty we really are. How nothing we feel everyday. I want so bad to feel that magic again, but it will never come back. If there is a God, I'm begging they hear my cry for help.

Please let me feel the magic again.